Chapter Six: Part One - Reflections

A whole year since I moved to Appaloosa Plains.

After a year, I couldn’t really say that my move to Appaloosa had done me much good. I moved here with a dream to meet a cowboy and live on a ranch. That dream was more of a hazy blur now. My love life was a mess. I had met a man who was the opposite of my dream cowboy, thought I’d fallen in love with him only to discover it wasn’t really love, and then broken his and my heart. My career wasn’t in much better shape. I had only received one promotion in six months and, although I enjoyed being a talent scout, I definitely wanted to do more with my career.

After Johnny retired, he went to Europe and started seeing the world. He would send me postcards so I could keep up with him. I enjoyed hearing about what he was doing but part of me hurt every time a card came.

I was thinking about these things as I sat at the bar at Varg’s Tavern. I had only been here a couple of times since I moved to town and every single time, I would go to the upstairs section. While I sat at the table drinking a beer, I thought about the mess my life had become.

Maybe I should have never moved here. Nothing has gone as I planned. I love the scenery and have made some nice friends but I’m just not as excited about living here as I had been a year ago.

A voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Does your beer really taste that bad or is there another reason for the sour look on your face?”

I looked up and was surprised to see Chuck standing in front of me. “No, the beer isn’t that bad. Just deep in thought.” I ran into Chuck every now and then and those few times he had somewhat dropped his attitude toward me.

“What’s up city girl?”

City girl. Is he ever going to stop calling me that?! “Nothing you need to bother yourself with. Just thinking about maybe making a change.”

“You mean like changing your hair color?” I stood up.

“Why is it that you always assume that everything I do is related to looks? Like I’m some prissy little city girl who couldn’t possibly do anything but think about clothes, or how my hair looks, or if my makeup is applied correctly? Maybe that’s one reason I’ve seriously thought about moving back to the city! To get away from judgmental country folk like yourself!”

“Woah! I was just making a joke. Sorry.”

“That’s all I’ve heard since I got here: “Not bad for a city girl.”, “I didn’t know a city girl could do that.”, “City girl … blah, blah, blah.” I’ve lived here for over a year now and I’m still hearing it. The only person who never did that was…”

“Johnny?”

At the sound of Chuck saying Johnny’s name, I closed my eyes. It really did seem like Johnny was the only person who had understood me, and I pushed him away. Maybe I should just go back to the city.

“Look. Maybe it comes across as rude when people point out you’re a city girl but when they say those things, it’s actually more of a compliment. Country folk expect city folk to act a certain way and I’d say that goes the other way too. So when you do something that country folk don’t think city folk can do, it surprises them. Could they pick a better way of expressing that? Sure. Think of yourself as a teacher. You’re educating these country folk what city folk are actually like.”

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it.”

“And as far as moving back to the city, well…there’s not much I can say to that except this town would be a lot less interesting if you moved.”

I looked up at him and he downed his beer. He tipped his hat at me and walked out of the tavern.

I sat there confused for several minutes. One minute it seemed like Chuck wanted nothing to do with me and then the next he shows concern towards me. The last thing I needed right then was to add more drama to my life. I finished my beer and left determined to stay away from Chuck as much as possible.

At least that was the plan. During the next several weeks, I found myself running into Chuck more often. Sometimes I saw him at the Tavern, other times I saw him at the Karaoke bar. We started off by chatting about things happening around town but as the weeks passed, we started hanging out and talking more. Whatever had caused the awkwardness between us before seemed to be gone, but I was just as confused by what had caused the tension between us.

“Oh my gosh! The stove is on fire!”

I was cooking breakfast one morning and thought I would try my hand at cooking waffles. The waffles were almost done when the oven caught on fire. Thank goodness I had a fire extinguisher.

 

After the fire department made sure the fire was completely out I looked at the damage. It wasn’t too bad but it was going to take the insurance company several days before they could send me the check for a new oven. Money was really tight so I couldn’t afford to go buy one. I couldn’t stay at home with all the damage and with no stove.

I called Honey to see if I could stay with her but she had family staying at her house. I then tried Josy but she was having plumbing work done in her house.

There was only one other person I could think of. “Hey Chuck, it’s Amanda.”

 

“Oh hey Amanda! What’s up?”

“Well…My stove caught on fire this morning and I have some damage but can’t afford to repair it until the insurance company sends me a check. I know this is kind of an odd request but… is there any way possible I can stay with you for a couple of days?”

“Oh my gosh! Are you hurt?”

“No, no, no. I’m fine.”

“Oh good! Sure, I don’t see why you couldn’t stay here for a couple of days.”

“Oh thank you Chuck! I’ll be over in a little while.”

“No problem. See you then.”

I packed some clothes in a suitcase and took a cab to Chuck’s house While I rode in the car I started to think about the last time I had been at Chuck’s house. The memories of how Johnny and my relationship ended came back to me. The cab pulled up and as I walked to the front door I felt an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

Maybe this was a big mistake.

Just then, Chuck opened the door. “Hey Amanda! Come on in.”

“Thanks. I really appreciate you letting me stay here.”

“No problem. Let me put your things in the spare bedroom. You can sleep there…”

 

He turned to look at me and saw the tears in my eyes.

 

“Oh God! What an idiot I am. That’s Johnny’s old room! You know, umm…why don’t you sleep in the other bedroom and I’ll sleep in the spare room. Would that work better?”

“Oh I don’t want you to have to do that, Chuck.” Maybe I should just go stay with one of my sisters and take a leave of absence at work.

“No! Not a big deal. I don’t mind…really.”

I thought about it for a minute. Even though I knew I would be welcome to stay with any of my sisters, taking almost a whole week off of work would not be good. I decided to give in.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Chuck picked up my bags and placed them in his room. I was poking around the kitchen when he came back out.

 

“What are you doing?”

“Oh! I was hungry and I figured you might be too so I decided to look through your cabinets and fridge to see what you had. Hope you don’t mind.”

“No, that’s okay. Good luck finding anything though. I don’t keep much food here.”

“I can see that.”

“Do you want any help?”

“No. You go ahead with whatever you were planning on doing. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

“Okay. I’ll be outside taking care of Shadow.”

I searched through some more cabinets and the fridge and finally found enough ingredients to make some autumn salad. I had actually become a decent cook since moving to Appaloosa, except for the stove mishap. When it was ready, I called to Chuck outside. He came in and was surprised that I had found enough ingredients to make Autumn Salad. We each grabbed a plate and sat down at the table. While we ate we talked about things happening around town.

When Chuck finished eating he looked at me. “Thanks for making dinner. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I figured it was the least I could do since you’re letting me stay here. What would have made it better is a glass of wine.”

“Hey, I think I have a bottle of wine hidden in a cabinet somewhere…”

“You do. I saw it when I was looking through them.”

“Well then, how about I clean this up, get some wine and I’ll meet you in the living room.”

“Are you sure you want to clean up? I don’t mind doing it.”

“Nonsense. You cooked dinner, I’ll clean it up.”

I took him up on his offer and headed to the living room. I sat down on the couch and looked around. I had always liked this house. It had a rustic feel to it and all the furnishings complimented the rustic look of the house. I had spent many nights on this couch cuddling with and kissing Johnny. The memories of being with him seemed to haunt me in this house.

Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I could still stay with one of my sisters.

“Hey, you okay?” Chuck’s voice snapped me out of my thinking.

“Yea. I’m fine.”

“But, you’re crying.”