Chapter Ten: Part One - Mending Fences

I was taking a real chance. I knew she was expecting to go to a place in town to eat. As we drove through town and passed by the normal places to eat dinner, I noticed her looking around more. I knew she was curious but she still didn’t ask again where we were going.

I turned the truck down the road that led to where we were going and waited to see if she’d recognize where I was taking her. I looked over at her for a second and saw a confused look on her face.  As I pulled up to the parking lot at Cinnamon Crest Falls she finally said something.

“Chuck, we’re nowhere near a restaurant. What are we doing?”

“Just get out and you’ll see.”

She got out and I went to the back of the truck to grab what we needed.

“A picnic basket? Are we having a picnic out here? At night?”

“Yup. I figured what better spot to celebrate surviving your first riding lesson then having dinner here watching the sunset.”

 

She had a blank look on her face. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. She doesn’t look very happy about this.

“Can we sit close to the waterfall?”

I let out a little sigh of relief. “Sure. Why don’t you pick the spot.”

 

She led the way to a spot that was near the waterfall where the trees almost encircled us.  I put the basket down and spread out the blanket.  We both sat down on the blanket and I started pulling out the food from the basket.

"Did you make all of this?”

I laughed. “Are you kidding? I picked it up from the diner that just opened back up. Remember, I almost burned waffles.”

“Well at least you didn’t try to burn your house down cooking them.”

“Hmm…you have a point. There’s also chocolate cake and wine for later.”

“Good grief! All this food for just the two of us?”

“I didn’t want either of us to leave here hungry.”

 

We sat eating and talking as the sun crept down and soon the sky was a beautiful shade of red and orange. She stood up and moved closer to the water and looked up at the sky. I heard her sigh.

 

“I can’t believe I almost moved away from this. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautiful.”

I got up and walked over to where she was standing and looked up at the sky with her.

 

“I never would have seen this if it wasn’t for you. I had pretty much made the decision to leave Appaloosa Plains when you brought me here several weeks ago. I didn’t think anything could change my mind. I didn’t think I belonged here anymore. But ever since the day you brought me here and the beach, I’ve come to realize that I do belong here. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.”

I knew that this might be my only chance to explain my intentions.

 

“I knew that I had hurt you by the way I treated you before. When I realized that I had been part of the reason why you were hurting for so long, I knew I had to make it up to you by at least trying to show you that this is where you belonged. I stayed up all night after you’d told to me how I made you feel while you were dating Johnny, thinking of how I could change that. The only thing I could think of was to show you what made me realize this was the place for me. Even though you were telling me you wanted to leave, I could tell you didn’t really mean it. If bringing you here that day made you decide to stay, I can’t really take credit for that. Heck, I’m part of the reason you wanted to leave in the first place.”

 

I continued to stare at the sky that now barely had any sign of the sun setting. We stood there for several minutes in deafening silence. I stood there wishing I could read her mind. I could only guess by her silence that she was still upset with me and I really couldn’t blame her. Maybe someday she’ll forgive me.

I felt something touch my hand and I looked down. 

She had moved closer to me and was holding my hand. I was about to say something but stopped when I heard her speak first.

 

“You’re also part of the reason I wanted to stay here. Even if things had been different between us when Johnny and I were dating, I still would have questioned staying here. I still would have felt like an outsider, I still would have been upset by what happened between Johnny and me and still would have felt guilty about it. Instead of trying to deal with those things, I took it all out on you.”

 

I turned toward her and she looked up at me. “I deserved it. You were right. I treated you horribly when I could have done something, anything else to try to stay friends with both you and Johnny. Instead I pushed you away and added to your hurting.”

 

“I have something I need to tell you. That same night that you stayed up thinking of ways to show me I belonged here, I sat up all night thinking too. At first I was so upset that all I could think of was how awful I felt.  But the longer I sat there, the more I realized that it was unfair for me to be so mad at you when, in a way, I had done the same thing to Johnny. Once I started questioning Johnny’s and my relationship, I started pushing him away because I didn’t want to deal with it. I tried to deny it until I had no choice but to tell him how I really felt.  I thought by doing that, by distancing myself, it would help me not hurt so much when the time came for us to go our separate ways. All it really did was cause me to feel guilty afterwards.”

 

“But people do that all the time Amanda when they realize that a relationship is ending.”

 

“That’s true, but what I did was because I was trying to protect myself. You did it to protect your friendship with Johnny. There’s something else. When I finally realized why I was feeling so guilty about what happened with Johnny and I, I knew I needed to apologize to him. I didn’t expect him to accept it but I owed it to him.  When I called him and explained what had actually happened, without hesitation, he accepted my apology. He even repeated something he had told me right before he left; ‘If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call me.’

“That sounds like typical Johnny.”

 

“My point is that after talking to Johnny, I realized that if he could forgive me for doing something for such selfish reasons, then why should I be mad at you for something that you did for unselfish reasons. Especially when it was obvious that you felt awful about what had happened and were doing everything to show me that this is where I belong.”

 

“I wish I could go back in time and change what happened. I was such an idiot.”

 

“I guess we both did things that we wish we hadn’t.”

 

“Do you really forgive me?”

“Yes, Chuck. I wouldn’t have stayed at your place or probably even still be in Appaloosa if I hadn’t. Can you forgive me for making you feel guilty for so long?”

Maybe it was the overwhelming relief I felt from her saying that she forgave me or the fact that I had tried to keep my feelings for her under control for so long that made me do what I did next.

 

As we stood there kissing, I didn’t know what I was more surprised by. The fact that I was actually kissing her or the fact that she wasn’t pulling away.