Chapter Eight: Suddenly

Just a little note: The song referenced in this chapter can be found at the bottom of this post.  If you're interested, give it a listen. It's an older song but I felt it fit Amanda's story. Also this is a pretty photo heavy chapter. Just wanted to warn you.

I stayed at Chuck’s for a week and a half. Once the insurance company sent me money I was able to clean up the mess from the oven fire and buy a new oven.

While I stayed there we went out with friends almost every night. It was nice to do things with a group of people. I had never done that since I had arrived in town.  The group usually had Honey and her fiancé John and Josy and her boyfriend Tom.  We had a good time hanging out at the Karaoke bar, sitting around drinking, and making fun of each other’s singing.

 

One night we were out at the bar and Honey decided that it was my turn to sing.
 

“We haven’t once heard Amanda sing! She needs to go up there!”
 

“No, that’s really okay. I’m a song writer and a piano slash guitar player.  Not a singer.”
 

“Oh come on Amanda! We’ve all been up at least once this week. It’s your turn!” Josy put in her two cents.
 

Chuck agreed. “They have a point. We’ve heard everyone but you.”
 

I looked around the table looking at Chuck last. He was smiling at me and I knew I was going to have to give in.

 

“Fine! I’ll do it. But I will never do it again. Don’t ask again after this.”

Josy and Honey giggled and walked over to the karaoke machine.

“What are you two doing?”

“We’re going to pick the song you sing.”

“What?! How is that fair?”

“You all picked our songs, so we’re going to pick your song.”

They flipped through the song selection book and laughed loudly as they agreed on a song.

“Hope you’re in a romantic mood!” Honey said.

“Oh no! What did you pick?!”

They ran back to their seats and whispered what their selection was to everyone else. Chuck looked at me and raised an eyebrow. That made me incredibly nervous. I stood there waiting for the music to start. What did they do?! Hopefully it won’t be something too embarrassing.

 

“Honey you’ve got to give me a hint. What did you two pick.”

“Remember you told me one time that you had a favorite love song?”

Oh my gosh! She didn’t. I never told her why it was my favorite. It was my parents wedding song.

The music started and I knew for sure that’s what they had picked. I heard the sound of the keyboard start playing. I hadn’t heard this song since before my parents passed away. I was so caught up in my thoughts I missed the first “Ooo’s.”

 

“Sing Amanda!”

Without thinking about it anymore, I started singing.

I used to think that love was just a fairy tale

Until that first hello, until that first smile.

But if I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a thing

‘Cause love is everlasting.

 

Suddenly, life has new meaning to me.

There’s beauty up above

And things we never take notice of

You wake up and suddenly, you’re in love.

 

I sang through the verse and another chorus. As the bridge was beginning to start I froze. Honey noticed that something was wrong and ran up to sing with me.

 

Each day I pray

This love affair would last forever.

 

Suddenly, life has new meaning to me.

There’s beauty up above

And things we never take notice of

You wake up, suddenly, you’re in love

There’s beauty up above

Things we never take notice of

 You wake up and suddenly, you’re in love.

We finished singing and the bar erupted with applause. We walked back over to the table and before I could sit down Chuck was questioning me.

 

“So you’re a fan of older romantic songs?” He smiled at me.

“Well not really. I do really like that one song though.”

“You never told us why you liked it so much.” Josy said.

“It was my parent’s wedding song.  My sisters and I grew up hearing how our Dad and Mom heard the song on the radio one night when they were dating and that’s around the time they realized that they loved each other.”

“Is that why you stopped singing?” Honey asked.

“Yeah. I realized what words were coming up ‘Each day I pray this love affair would last forever.’ They would have been married 25 years this year.”

“What happened, Amanda?” Josy asked me.

I hadn’t told anyone besides Johnny and Chuck about my parents. As I told all of them about their accident everyone looked at me shocked.

 

“Oh my gosh Amanda! If we had known that we never would have picked that song!” Honey apologized.

 

“It’s okay. I haven’t told many people about it. It didn’t happen long before I moved here.”

It wasn’t long after that we all decided to leave and head home.  I was staying one last night at Chuck’s house since my oven wasn’t arriving till the next morning.  We said goodbye to everyone and got in his truck.  We drove back to the house in silence. This was one time I wished he would talk to me since the silence was allowing my mind to drift and think about my parents.

We arrived at the house and Chuck held the front door open for me. I walked past him and he gently grabbed my arm.

 

“Hey, are you okay?”

I looked at him and saw he was concerned. “Yeah, that song just brought back a lot of memories.”

“You want to talk about it?”

 

I shrugged. “Sure, I mean, I don’t mind talking about it.”

We moved over to the couch and sat down.

 

“You don’t talk about them very much, do you?”

 

“I do with my sisters but I learned early on, even before I moved here, that most people are uncomfortable with the subject. I don’t know if it’s because some people have no idea what to say or if it’s because it’s depressing to think about your parents dying. I mean, it’s not the most uplifting conversation subject.”

 

“How have you been able to get through it?”

 

“In the beginning, my sisters and I leaned on each other a lot. My older sister has, in some ways, tried to take on being my younger sisters and my mother. She gives advice when we ask and provides us with a lot of support. Honestly, I think that’s how she’s coped with it. My younger sisters have had a harder time. They’re twins so I think their tight bond has helped them get through it.”

“What about you, though?”

 

“My move here has helped a lot.  My older sister, Jenn at first was concerned that I was running away from everything so I wouldn’t have to deal with it.  We had many discussions about me leaving.  I was finally able to convince her that this is what I had planned to do even before Mom and Dad’s accident and that it actually would be worse if I didn’t do what I had initially planned.”

“Did your parents know that you were going to move here?”

 

“Well, not exactly Appaloosa Plains, but ever since I was little I would tell whoever would listen that when I grew up I was going to move to the country and live on a ranch. At first everyone thought it was cute. As I got older I never gave up on that dream. It’s strange since we didn’t go outside the city much. I have no idea where I got the idea or why I’ve held onto it for so long. My parents were always firm believers in following the dreams of your heart. They always fully supported me moving to the country. I had been saving money for several years and had planned, before they passed, to move within the next year. When they passed, each of us received some money. It allowed me to move here faster than I had originally planned.”

 

“I never knew how big of a dream moving here or the country was of yours. It’s nice that you were able to share your dream with them and that they encouraged you.”

I realized then that I had never heard Chuck talk about his parents.

“What about your parents? Do they live near here?”

He looked away “No they don’t.”

There was a long pause before he continued. “When I was almost one, my dad left my mom and we never heard from him again. Then when I was six, my mom killed herself.”

I gasped.

 

“She was never the same after he left. at least that’s what people told me. She went into a deep depression and struggled with being a single mom.  We lived in the city and most of her family is from the west. So she didn’t have much support. I came home from school one day and found her on the kitchen floor. She had apparently overdosed on some type of medication.”

 

“You’re the one that found her? That must have been horrible for you.”

 

“It was really hard for me to understand back then. Sometimes when traumatic things happen to you when you’re little, it’s like your body and mind protect you. I remember finding her but any feeling I had from that moment till several months later is gone. It’s like a chunk of my memory and feelings are gone. As I got older I did have to deal with some issues with knowing that my father abandoned us and that my mom wasn’t around to share in my life, but I had some help with that.”

“Where did you end up going after she died?”

 

“My Mom’s sister and her husband took me in. They had a horse ranch out west. It was a pretty big adjustment moving at six years old from the city to a horse ranch. That’s of course where I learned how to take care of and ride horses.  That’s what helped me a lot with dealing with everything early on.  Whenever I had a bad day, my uncle would tell me to get up on a horse and ride. ‘It will make you feel better. Nothing like riding a horse in the wide open prairies.’ He was right. I always felt better after riding. I got better at it as I got older and by the time I was a teenager I was barrel racing at rodeos. After a couple years of doing that, I decided to give bull riding a shot. I did that for ten years and got pretty banged up. I had just recovered from a serious injury before visiting Johnny here. That’s when I realized while watching the sunset on the beach that I was done with the rodeo. Thankfully Johnny was nice enough to let me stay with him.”

“How did you and Johnny meet then?"

“Completely random thing. The rodeo was in a town nearby and we had done one of two shows. I was in the stables when one of the rodeo big wigs came in with Johnny. He told me that this guy was a songwriter and wanted to write a song about the life of a rodeo cowboy. He asked me if I’d be willing to show Johnny around and talk to him about my experiences. I agreed and after that we remained friends.”

“That is pretty random. What about your aunt and uncle?”

“I still talk to them, and I’ll be forever grateful to them, but we never had the kind of relationship that parents and their children have. They never wanted to have any children. They were nothing but nice to me and they took care of me and taught me about horses and ranch life, but we’ve never been real close.”

“I’m sorry that you don’t have a close relationship with them. Without them though, you would never have become a cowboy traffic cop.”

 

He laughed. “That’s true; and I wouldn’t have the love I have for horses or even know how to ride one.”

 

“I wouldn’t know the first thing about riding a horse.”

“You don’t know how to ride?”

“No. There’s not a big need for that skill when living in the city, you know.”

“I could teach you.  Shadow’s a real gentle horse and she’s had a lot of training.”

“That’s nice of you to offer. I’m not sure…”

“Amanda, let me teach you to ride. It won’t take you long to get the hang of it and once you learn, you’ll love it.”

 

He was smiling at me and if there was one thing I had learned in the week and a half of staying with him was once he smiled at me, it was very hard to say no.

“Alright, but I’m warning you; I know nothing about riding horses.”

“That’s okay. I can teach you.”