Bridgette - Chapter Nineteen: All That Matters - Part One

We were driving home for Christmas and the car was too quiet. After our Thanksgiving confrontation things had calmed down and I had even done a decent job of getting along with Rosamund.  Granted, we didn’t really talk much since we really didn’t have a lot in common, but we were civil.  I stared out the window and watched the snow fall. It had started to snow not long after we left campus. It looked like Appaloosa was going to have another white Christmas. 

As we continued to drive home I noticed that everyone was talking less and less. I silently thought of what I had said since we had gotten in the car and nothing seemed offensive to me. After several more minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. “What‘s going on? Why’s everyone so quite?” Jeff and Rosamund looked at me like a deer caught in headlights while Carson continued to look straight ahead at the road.

“Did I do something, or say something?” I had no idea what it would have been but something had to be wrong. They kept refusing to make eye contact with me. It had been this way on and off for a little over a week now. I would come into the room and the three of them would stop talking and act like nothing was wrong, but something was obviously going on.

“Oh no, of course not Bridgette. I guess we didn’t realize how quiet we were being.” Rosamund exclaimed. Once again, she forgot that I could tell when someone was lying to me. I started to roll my eyes as I turned back around.

“Really, Bridge nothing’s wrong. We’re just wrapped up in our own thoughts.” Jeff tried to reassure me.

I gave up. If they wanted to avoid me, fine. But what was really bothering me was that even Carson seemed a little distant. I had been looking forward to going home for Christmas but now I wasn’t so sure about it. If all that was going to happen was people acting distant and uncomfortable then I really didn’t want any part of it.

I had never been so happy to see home. When we finally pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of the car.  Mom and Dad came out to greet us. “Oh I’m so glad that you all are here!” Mom gushed as she hugged each of us.

“It’s always good to have all of the kids home again!” Dad admitted and he too hugged each of us.

“We should probably get Bridge’s things out of the car so I can take Jeff and Rosamund to her parents’ house and I can get home.” Carson stated.

I gave him an annoyed look. “Are you in such a rush that you’re just going to leave me here?”

“Like I said Bridge, Jeff and Rosamund need to get to her parents’ house and my Mom and Dad are expecting me. I’ll call you later and I’ll see you in two days on Christmas.” He kissed me and the three of them seemed to rush to get away.

I stood there watching them drive away in shock. Carson had never left in such a hurry before and before this trip he had always complained about us being separated. Now he seemed to want nothing more. Maybe what had happened during Thanksgiving had pushed Carson away.

“Are you coming Bridge?” Mom asked.

“Yeah.” I turned and walked into the house with Mom and Dad. I couldn’t help but sulk about what had just happened. Dad noticed my not so cheery attitude.

“What’s wrong, Bridge?” he asked.

 “I don’t know. I’ve never seen Carson leave in such a hurry. He hasn’t been acting like himself the last week or so. Maybe it’s nothing but he seems preoccupied. And then there’s Jeff and Rosamund. I mean Rosamund and I aren’t the best of friends but even she’s been acting more distant lately. It’s just weird.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing Bridge. Maybe Carson is stressed out from school and Rosamund is still having a hard time with the miscarriage.” Mom suggested.

That wasn’t it and I knew it. Carson was stressed this year with school but Rosamund didn’t seem to be as upset about the miscarriage as I thought she should be. That was one thing that I had to bite my tongue about. I had learned my lesson after Thanksgiving. If Jeff wanted to throw his life away and stay with the conniving, lying woman, than I wasn’t going to interfere anymore. He’d made his bed and he could lie in it. 

I walked upstairs and ran into Charlie and Kate. “Hey Bridge! Welcome home!” Kate said as she hugged me. I looked her up and down and immediately thought something seemed different with her. I looked at Charlie and he had a sheepish grin. I kept looking at her and she blushed.

“Are you pregnant again?” She smiled and nodded.

“Congratulations! When are you due?”

“July. Seems to be a popular month in this family. We just found out yesterday so I thought I’d wait to tell you till after you got home.”

“Well at least there’s something nice out of coming home.” I stated flatly.

“What do you mean?” Charlie asked.

“Carson, Jeff and Rosamund have been acting weird for a week or so. Something’s going on and I can’t figure it out.” I didn’t want to dwell on my troubles so I turned the conversation back to the baby.

Several hours later Carson called me. “So how are things there?” He asked. I really wondered if he cared. As fast as he left earlier and how he had been acting lately I was starting to question if our relationship was as solid as it had been.

“Fine. Charlie and Kate are expecting another baby and I had fun playing a game tonight with Scarlett. What about you?” 

“It’s been crazy here with my brothers being home and their wives here too.  We’ve been having a good time though.” He didn’t say much else after that. There was something wrong and I just wished he would tell me.

“Carson, what is it? You’ve been distant this whole past week and you couldn’t get out of here fast enough today. Are you mad at me?”

“No Bridge! I’m sorry, I’ve been preoccupied with something. I promise there’s nothing wrong. I’ve just got a lot on my mind right now.” That didn’t really make me feel any better.

“Well then, why don’t you tell me? I am your girlfriend after all.”

“I will, Bridge. Just not right now; after Christmas.”

I didn’t understand; why did he have to wait till after Christmas?

“Bridge, are you there?”

“I’m here; I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong.” He sighed. “I’m sorry if I seem distant. I’ve been thinking about the future and what I want to do after college. Things like that.”

“Then why don’t you want to talk about it with me?” I hated that it seemed like I was prying but none of this was making sense to me.

“I just don’t want to bog down Christmas with talking about the future. There’s no rush to talk about it, so might as well leave it till afterwards.”

Now I was really scared. He sounded like he was making decisions about his future without me and if it was something that he felt was going to ‘bog down Christmas,’ then it sounded like it could be bad. As much as I wanted to keep pushing him about it, I knew if I kept at it we would end up arguing.

“Alright, fine. I won’t bring it up again until after Christmas; but when the clock strikes midnight on December 26th I will be asking you for answers.”

“Deal. I love you Bridge, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do and that’s one reason I’m giving you the space you need. I love you too.”

We hung up and I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Something big was about to hit the fan and I was really scared that it was going to end badly.

****Carson****

I hung up the phone and let out a sigh of relief. This was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. I wasn’t technically lying to Bridge but I wasn’t telling her the whole truth either. 

I laid on my bed thinking about the last week and a half. I had kept so many things from her and I knew she was catching on that something wasn’t quite right. I prayed that I was going to be able to pull this off before she figured out what was happening or got mad.

I was awoken by sunlight shining in my room. I looked around my room still feeling groggy. I hadn’t even remembered falling asleep.  I looked down at my clothes and I noticed I had fallen asleep in the previous day’s clothes. The stress of the last week must have caught up with me. I hadn’t been sleeping much since I usually was just lying in bed thinking about things.   

I got up off my bed and looked at the clock. It was already nine and my family was supposed to have brunch that morning. I walked into the bathroom and took a shower. The hot water felt amazing on my neck which I hadn’t realized until that moment how sore it was. I was definitely going to be glad when all of this was over. The stress was becoming too much. I was interrupted by banging on the door.

“Don’t hog all the hot water, bro!” My brother Adam complained.

“I’m not!” I yelled back.

I turned off the water and put a towel around my waist. I flung the door open and looked right at him. “Can’t a guy take a shower in peace?” I snapped at him.

“Whoa! Chill little brother. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing.” I mumbled as I walked past him to my room.

I got dressed and headed downstairs. I found everyone else in the kitchen. Both my older brothers and their wives were home for Christmas which meant the house was somewhat full. Our house wasn’t nearly as big as Bridge’s families so when we were all home it was cramped.

I walked downstairs to see what everyone else was doing when I heard Adam complaining as he came downstairs.

“Dude, there was hardly any hot water!”  He joked as he entered the kitchen.

“Whatever.” I mumbled. I really wasn’t in the mood to hear it, even if he was joking.

“What the hell is your deal this morning?” He asked.

“Adam, watch your mouth. Carson, you could be nicer to your brother.” It didn’t matter how old we got, Mom continued to let us know when we were out of line.

“Really dude, what is up? You’re usually the nice, calm one.” Brett chimed in.

“He’s got a lot on his mind right now. Give him a break.” I heard Dad suggest. I closed my eyes; Dad had just added gas to the fire.

“Well now I really want to know.” Adam said.

“You might as well tell them, Carson. They’ll pester you until you do.” Mom said.

“Fine. I’m going over to the Hobble’s tomorrow on Christmas. . .”

“Tell us something we don’t know.” Brett sarcastically replied.

“Well I would if you wouldn’t interrupt me.” I complained. “Like I was saying I’m going over there tomorrow and I’m a little stressed about it.” It was actually more like extremely.

“You and Bridge having problems?” Adam asked.

“No.”

“Good; I can’t imagine you two not together.” Brett commented and Adam and their wives agreed.

“Well, that’s what I’m stressed about. I plan on asking her to marry me tomorrow.”

They erupted with sounds of approval and then Adam got serious. “Why are you stressed about it?”

“Well, I mean, she could say no.” I admitted. I had heard other guys talk about asking girlfriends to marry them and they were turned down. 

Brett laughed. “Little bro, I think I can say with one hundred percent certainty that she will say yes. I mean come on! How long have you two known each other and been together?”

“We’ve known each other for seven years and been together for a little over three.”

“And you’re worried she’ll say no?” Brett asked.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him.” Mom added. 

“I mean, you never know. Maybe she’s just happy with things the way things are.” I countered.

“Haven’t you talked about it before?” Brett wondered.

“Yes…no…in a round about way.”

“It will be fine. I think Chuck and Amanda would have given you some indication if they thought she would say no.” Dad chimed in.

“Is there anything we can do to help you?” Adam offered.

“There was one thing I was wondering. . .”