George - Chapter Eighteen : Home Is Where the Heart Is

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****George****

I stood looking at the door, wanting to open it and not wanting to; feeling excited and hesitant about what I would do once I walked through the door. A year ago, I wouldn’t have even thought that this day would come, that I would be having this conversation today. I figured that there would be no reason that would ever tempt me to do what I was about to do.

I opened the door and looked around, not seeing her anywhere. I had asked her the night of Steph’s party if she would be available for dinner and she had agreed, but only if she could cook and I had thought that was interesting; we sometimes ate at her house but she wasn’t usually so insistent.

“Mom?” I called out.

I heard footsteps from upstairs and then on the steps. “I’m sorry George! I was trying to find something upstairs.” She walked over to me and we hugged which caused a little pain in my heart. 

“Dinner’s almost ready. Do you want to get the plates out?”

I nodded and did what she requested, wondering if I should just get it over with and admit to her why I wanted to have dinner or if I should wait until during or after dinner. I decided that I should at least wait until we were eating and kept my mouth shut as Mom and I got our food and then sat down. I noticed that as we started eating she kept looking at me, and it made me dread what I had come here to talk to her about. I had convinced myself to wait until after dinner to talk to her but she had a different plan.

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

I was shocked by her bluntless, but I was more shocked that she knew. “How. . .?”

“I’m not blind, George.” She stated with a smile. “I think even a blind person would be able to see what’s happened with you and Steph. That’s why you wanted to have dinner isn’t it, to tell me?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that she knew. “Yes.” I admitted. “But it hasn’t been an easy decision.”

She nodded. “George, you have always done what other people need you to do. You’ve put other people before yourself, and I know that’s who you are. You’re a caring, thoughtful person and I love you; but somewhere along the way, I think you lost who you were. You got so caught up in helping other people that you forgot to live for yourself. It’s time that you started doing that.”

“But what about you?” I wondered.

“What about me? I’m a grown woman, George. I can take care of myself.”

“That’s not what I meant.” I admitted. “What I mean is that if I moved away, none of us would be here anymore. You would be alone.”

She looked at me like I was being silly. “Well, it’s not like Bridgeport is across the planet. It’s only about a five hour drive. And if there’s anything that I wouldn’t be, it’s alone. I’ve got Jeff right next door, Charlie and Kate down the street. . .I think you need to be honest with yourself about why you’re really hesitant to go.” I looked down at my plate of food and sighed. “After you and Christine split up, you moved back here because this is easy; you’ve known this town and most of the people in it your whole life. And at that time, that’s what you needed; you needed the stability of Appaloosa and the family. But I think if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit that this wasn’t meant to be your home anymore. It was a stopping place, a place for you to stay while you healed. But your heart’s not here, George. Your hearts in Bridgeport and you know what they say about home; home is where your heart is.”

I nodded and neither of us spoke for several minutes; I was thinking about what she said and I knew she was right.

“Have you talked to Steph about this?” She interrupted my thoughts.

I shook my head. “No. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, even before Steph and I got together. I had started to wish that I saw Trev and Charlotte more and I enjoy being in the city.”

She nodded. “This is where I belong. This is my home. For all of you, your homes are elsewhere and you all need to live your lives. Sure you could stay here, but none of you would be completely happy.”

“I know, and I had started to figure that out and then Steph and I got together and it’s pushed the issue more. I now know that I would have eventually made the decision to move, but Steph has made me realize it sooner. After this past weekend. . .I just know that that’s where I’m supposed to be. But I wanted to talk to you first.”

She smiled at me. “Are you going to propose soon?” She hinted.

I chuckled. “It’s amazing how this family likes to make my love life their business.” I paused and then looked at her. “I take it by your smile you wouldn’t have a problem or issue with that.”

“Nope.” She quickly admitted. “You know I adore Steph and I think you’re what each other needs. I haven’t seen you this happy in years, George. It’s like the old happy, funny, passionate George is back.” She raised an eyebrow. “So, are you going to propose anytime soon?”

I smiled. “I have an idea of when. I did want to wait till after Trev gets out of rehab and till after Charlotte’s wedding. It’s something that I eventually want to include the family on; but for right now, don’t mention it to Charlotte or anyone else.”

“I’ll keep it to myself.” She promised.

“Why were you so insistent on cooking me dinner?” I wondered as we cleaned the dishes.

“I had a feeling that you wanted to tell me that you were moving, or even getting engaged. . .” She smirked. “Call me sentimental, but I just wanted to have one more meal with just you here at the house.”

I sadly smiled and as we hugged, it became more real that one chapter of my life was closing, but another one was beginning.

I called Steph that night and told her that I was going to drive into the city Wednesday night. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her over the phone and there was no way I was going to wait until the weekend to talk to her about it. The next day crawled by and I was tempted to get in the car Tuesday night to go see her, but I had a patient the next morning and I didn’t want to cancel another appointment. In the last month and a half I had canceled a number of appointments. Between Grandma’s funeral, Trev, and wanting to see Steph, I hadn’t been as available to my patients and that was another reason that now had seemed like the right time to contemplate moving. 

After seeing my only patient on Wednesday morning, I got in my car and made the five hour drive to Bridgeport. As I stepped out of the car in Steph’s parking lot, I stopped to look around at the buildings recalling how less than a year ago I couldn’t have imagined living in the city. I almost had when Christine and I were together, but after that, the last place I had wanted to live was there.

I turned around and made my way to the elevator and then to Steph’s door. I was surprised to see her standing at the railing outside of it.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked as I kissed her.

“I was waiting for an amazing guy to drive up and what do you know, he did.”  She kissed me back and for a moment I forgot we were outside. It wasn’t until I heard a car honk that I remembered where we were. “We should go inside.” I suggested.

I picked my bag back up and we walked inside where I placed my bag down in the bedroom and then found Steph in the hallway.

“What’s going on? You don’t ever come to the city earlier than Friday unless there’s something going on.” She asked, not wasting any time.

“We should sit down.” I noticed a concerned look spread across her face as I led her to the living room.

“Now you’ve got me worried. Did something happen with Trev?”

“No, that I know of, Trev is doing pretty well.”

“Then what is it? It’s obviously something.”

I took a big breath and started. “Do you remember at my birthday party that I mentioned how I was feeling left out since everyone was here and I was in Appaloosa?” She nodded and I continued. “That was the first time in a long time that I thought about moving here. Then Grandma passed away, Trev happened, we happened. . .” She smiled at the mention of us. “I’ve just been feeling that Appaloosa isn’t home anymore. When I’m there, I think about being here and when I’m here, I dread going back and I’m tired of driving back and forth. It’s worth it to see you, and also Trev and Charlotte, but I just don’t’ want to do it anymore.”

“You want to move here?” I nodded and she looked a little concerned. “What about your practice in Appaloosa? Your patients? What would you do about working? What about your house?”

I smiled thinking about how she was always first concerned with me. “I would miss it, but it’s not originally what I wanted to do. When I started studying psychology I wanted to help people with their grief; have more of a specialty in the field. After moving back to Appaloosa, I couldn’t do that since it’s such a small town. People need a general counseling psychologist, not just one that specializes in helping people with their grief. There are two other psychologists in Appaloosa; I would recommend them to my patients. With all of the time I’ve had to take off recently, it might be better any way for them to do that. That’s one thing I feel guilty about, that in a way I let them down.”

“You can’t help what happened, George.”

“I know, but I still feel bad about it. As far as me working, I have several contacts here that can point me in the direction of where I can find a job. I might even be able to do more grief counseling.” I admitted. “I’m actually meeting a college friend tomorrow for lunch; try to get a feel for what’s available. I’m not worried about selling the house. One of my cousins who’s been away at college is getting ready to move back to Appaloosa and she’s interested in buying it.”

“What about your mom?”

“I talked to her Monday night when I ate dinner with her. She actually knew before I even told her.”

She sat next to me for several minutes not speaking and I knew that she was trying to process what I had told her.

“You’re really moving here?” She asked starting to smile.

“Yeah, I am.” I smiled back at her.

“Shitfire. . .” She whispered and I couldn’t help but laugh. I stood up and reached down to pull her up and gently kissed her. She soon moved her kisses to my neck and I stopped her before she could continue.

“There’s something else.” I admitted.

“What?”

I was a little nervous about what I was about to ask her. I had been thinking about it for a while but we had never talked about it. “What would you say to us. . .living together?”

She slowly smiled, but worry soon spread over her face as she looked around the apartment. “Here? How would all of our stuff fit in this apartment?”

I shook my head. “That, just wouldn’t be possible. . .”

Her eyes got huge. “You mean you want to. . .”

I finished her thought. “. . .Get an apartment together?” She nodded. “Yes.” I admitted.

 

I watched as she furrowed her brow as she thought about it. She was a lot like me in that it took her a moment sometimes to process things. I was stunned when she started chuckling. “You don’t know how to do anything small, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not, ‘I’m thinking about moving here;’ no, it’s ‘I’m moving here, I’m going to get a job here, and oh, by the way, let’s move in together. . .” She smiled. “Just when I wrap my head around one idea, you hit me with another.’” She joked.

I smiled down at her. “What can I say; when I know what I want, I jump into the deep end.”

She smirked as she looked down at the floor for a moment while I anxiously awaited her reply. I knew I was asking her to take a big leap of faith and I honestly didn’t know what she would say. I wasn’t sure what I would do if she said no; figuring we’d cross that bridge if we got to it.

She eventually looked back up at me and studied my face for a minute before she got that all too familiar mischievous look. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“We buy a really. . .good. . .mop.” She whispered in my ear as she pressed her body against mine.

“Agreed.” I conceded and as we started to kiss again, I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.

Around noon the next day I pulled up to the café that Ethan and I had eaten at several weeks prior. I was really looking forward to seeing my college friend Sam. We had gone through grad school together and even though we hadn’t seen each other in a while, we still kept in touch. As I approached the outside tables we spotted each other and he stood up.

“George! It’s good to see you, man!” Sam said as we hugged.

“You too! It’s been too long.” I said and we sat down.

“It has.” He looked over at me and smiled. “You look good!” He paused before continuing. “Who is she?”

I laughed. “That obvious?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it is. So what are you doing in Bridgeport.”

I raised my eyebrow and he nodded. “She lives here.” He stated.

“She does and I’m getting ready to move here.”

“No shit? Wow! That’s great, George! Where’d you get a job?”

“That’s actually one of the things that I wanted to ask you about; get some advice on what’s available. But first, let’s eat!”

We talked and caught up on what both of us had been doing in the months since we had last seen each other as we ate our lunch. We were talking about Sam’s job when we were finishing eating which led into me looking for a job. 

“So you work at one of the hospitals?” I asked him.

“Yeah, you know how in college I wanted to help people that had been in abusive relationships?” I nodded. “Well, the hospital is one place that I’m able to do that at.” His face lit up when he said the last part. “You used to want to do grief counseling, right?”

“Yeah, I haven’t been able to do that as much in Appaloosa but I had hoped to do that here.”

“Have you thought about looking into the hospitals?”

It hadn’t been something that had come to mind when I thought about helping people. “No, I haven’t. It would be completely different than anything that I’ve done.”

“Sounds like it, but it would be one way for you to help people that need grief counseling.” 

“Do you know of any hospitals that might be looking for one?”

“Give me a minute.” Sam got up and made a phone call and I watched as he talked to someone for several minutes before coming back over to the table.

“I just talked to the HR person at the hospital I work at and there’s actually an opening there. I thought I had remembered someone moving to a different city. Anyway, they’re still interviewing. If you’re interested, I might be able to get you an interview.”

“Really?”

“Sure! And even if it doesn’t work out, it will give you a place to start.”

“Thanks, Sam. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

I returned back to Steph’s and we decided to talk to a realtor about looking at apartments in the next couple days. She suggested that I call Ethan and see if he had a recommendation for one. I hadn’t called Charlotte to tell her about my decision to move to Bridgeport and when she found out she almost ruptured my eardrum. 

“You’re moving to Bridgeport?!!!” She cried.

“Yes, I’m moving here.” I looked over at Steph and she smiled.

“And you and Steph are getting a place together?!”

“Yes, we’re getting a place together.” Steph started chuckling and shaking her head. “Do either of you know a good realtor?” I asked her.

“When Ethan was looking for this place he had Roger Birchfield help him. He’s a popular realtor. Ethan really liked him. I’m sure if Ethan called him he could convince him to meet with both of you.”

“Sounds good. Thank Ethan for me.”

“I will.” She paused for a moment. “I can’t believe you’re moving here. . .does this mean you’re going to ask Steph to marry you?”

I smiled and shook my head. “Goodbye, Charlotte. Thanks for the help.”

“Fine. But if you do, you better give me credit. And Trev! He pushed for the two of you to get together too.”

“Goodbye, Charlotte.” 

“Bye, love ya!”

I looked over at Steph and she laughed. “I don’t know what all she said, but your facial expressions were hysterical when you were talking to her!”

“Just Charlotte, being Charlotte.” I crossed the room before continuing. “Ethan knows a realtor and he thinks he can convince him to meet with us. We need to talk about what we want to look for.”

“Okay.” She looked out at the balcony. “It’s nice out; do you want to sit outside?”

“Sure.” We walked outside and sat down on the bench. “So. . .I think as much as you and I like to cook, we need a decent size kitchen. . .”

She nodded. “That would be good.”

“I have to have an office. Even if it’s the size of a closet; it’s just easier to store files and papers in one place.”

“Okay. We’re going to need someplace that has lots of bookshelves or has the ability to have them put in. Between your gigantic book collection and my moderate sized one, we have a lot of books.”

I laughed. “Yes, book storage is a must.”

“In apartment laundry and parking are always good to have too.” She offered.

I nodded and then thought of one big question we hadn’t discussed yet. 

“What about. . .bedrooms?” And with that one question the conversation took a turn; we weren’t just thinking of immediate needs, we were thinking about future ones.

“I. . .don’t know. What do you think?” She asked with a smile.

“Do we want to look at apartments that meet our immediate needs, or. . .future ones?”

She laughed. “You’re answering a question with a question like you did when we first met; trying to divert the question.”

“Well you kind of did the same thing.” I jokingly accused.

She smiled and sighed. “Are you asking me if something happened at a later time if I would want to have a family?”

I got serious at that point. “Yes.”

She reached over and grabbed my hand. “Yes, some day, I would like to have a family.” She admitted. I let out a sigh of relief. I was hoping that she would but wasn’t sure. “But, as you know, multiple bedroom apartments in the city are expensive.”

I nodded. “They are.” When I had imagined talking to Steph about getting a place together there were two subjects that I knew would be harder, one was what we had just talked about, and the other was money. 

“Several million, at least.” She added.

I nodded. “Trev’s was about 10 million and his is a 5 bedroom. Of course that’s also close to the water and in a prime location.”

Her eyes got huge. “Well, he is a pro football player so he can afford it.”

“I think we could find a multiple bedroom closer to this area that isn’t so expensive.”

“But still, George, like I said it will be several million.”

“I’m okay with that.” Her expression changed and I couldn’t read it. She turned her head and looked at the lake. “Steph, talk to me.”

She turned her head to look at me. “I. . .know that your family is. . . well off. I just. . .I don’t know.”

“I’ve got some money saved away from a trust fund that I got after Dad passed away, and Grandma left all the grandkids some money. I’ve invested the money I had over the years and with selling the house and the building that my practice is in, I’ll make back what I paid for them.” She looked down at the ground.

“I get that. I just. . .”She bit her bottom lip for a moment before continuing. “I would feel bad that I wasn’t able to contribute more.” She admitted.

I grabbed her hand and she looked at me. “I understand that you feel that way, but I love you and I’m not looking at it from the view point that I’m bringing this much and you’re bringing that much into our relationship. All that matters to me is that we’re together and that we’re making a home together.”

After thinking for a moment, she sighed and squeezed my hands. “That’s what matters to me too.” 

I had gotten a call later that afternoon from the realtor that Ethan recommended and the next morning Steph and I were meeting him at his office.

“George! Stephanie! Nice to meet you.” Roger said as we entered his office.

“Please call me Steph.” She requested as he shook her hand.

“Absolutely! Please, have a seat.”

We all sat down and he immediately started asking questions. “So you’re moving here?”

“I am, Steph already lives here.”

“Gotcha. So what are you looking for?”

We explained what we were looking for and he started to nod.

“Is there a specific area you wanted to look in?”

“No, although we were hoping to not be on the outskirts.” I admitted.

He smiled. “Here’s the most important question, what’s your price range? Cause that’s going to narrow down the possibilities.”

I looked at Steph and she nodded at me. “Three to four million.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I definitely think we can find what you’re looking for in that price range. It won’t be in the middle of the city, but it won’t be on the outskirts either.” He tapped his pen on the desk while he was thinking. “I actually can think of three off the top of my head.” He looked at the both of us. “Would it bother you if it might need to be updated some? I might be able to get you a little closer into the city if you were okay with that.”

“I’d be okay with something that needed to be remodeled a little.” I looked at Steph. “Would you be okay with that?” She nodded and I looked back at Roger. “Of course, we don’t want to get too close to the top of the price range and have to remodel.”

He nodded. “Right. The sooner we jump on this, the better. Units that are listed in the price range that you’re wanting, tend to go fast.” He paused and looked back and forth between Steph and I. “Are you available right now? I could show you the three I have in mind and if none of those speak to you, I can look for some others. . .”

“We don’t have anything planned the rest of the morning.” Steph said.

“Great! Two of them are being sold through other realtors. Let me contact them real quick and we’ll be on our way.”

It didn’t take Roger long to make the calls and soon we were arriving at the first building.

“So we’re closer to the center of the city but this unit is a two bedroom. I know you said you wanted a three bedroom but I thought I’d show you a two bedroom just to see if you thought it might fit your needs. There’s two full baths, a room for an office that you could use as a third bedroom if you needed, and a great outdoor space. It does need some updating, but nothing major.”

“What’s the price?” I asked.

“Three point five million.”

We weren’t too thrilled with the view and even though the office could be converted into a bedroom, we weren’t sold on it. Roger drove us to the next apartment and filled us in on what we were about to look at.

“As you can see, this property is a little further out so you’re going to get more for your money. It’s a three bedroom, no office, no balcony but there is a rooftop area. It does need a decent amount of updating, but the view makes up for it. It’s listed at three point two five million.”

We walked into the apartment and it was immediately evident that it needed a major update. But the room sizes were decent, although we would have liked a bigger kitchen. The view was definitely better than the last apartment, but the layout of the apartment was odd.

“What did you think of that one?”

“Well, it pretty much has the space we’re looking for, but in order to make the overall apartment flow better, we’d have to knock down a bunch of walls.”

“I’d say almost all of them.” Steph added.

I nodded. “It’s doable but I’d like to see something else to compare it to.”

Roger smiled. “I figured you’d say that. I have one more that I’d like to show you. It hasn’t been listed yet but it will be tomorrow.”

“How do you know about it?”

“I’m the realtor trying to sell it.” He smiled and I nodded.

As we rode the elevator up he described the apartment. “This is a three bedroom, two and a half bathroom unit. It has a small office, a large kitchen and doesn’t need much remodeling. The previous owner didn’t live in the unit long and didn’t do much as far as decorating so it’s pretty much a blank slate. It has two outdoor spaces; one off the living area and another off of the master. Out of the three it’s the furthest unit from the center of the city, but sometimes you have to get further out to get a better view.”
 

The elevator doors opened to a small foyer that had glass doors that led into the apartment and we could already see that there was an incredible view. We walked through the doors and both Steph and I were floored by what we saw.

“Whoa!” Steph exclaimed. “Water and city view?”

Roger nodded. “Pretty great, huh?”

I looked around the room and noticed that there were archways on either side that led to other rooms. “Why are there walls here? If they were gone you’d have an even better view. All they’re doing is making the space feel smaller and obstructing the view.” I stated.

“That’s true. It would make the apartment feel much bigger if you removed the walls.” Roger agreed.

We walked through the archway on the left that led to the dining area and kitchen. The kitchen was by far the largest we had seen. Steph turned around and looked out the windows at the balcony. 

“There’s a hot tub?”

“Yes and the balcony goes the length of the apartment.”

“How do you get out to it?” I wondered.

“There’s one door off of the living area and another off of the office.”

We walked back through the entry and then into the living area. I again thought how the walls dividing the rooms were unnecessary but as we stepped out onto the terrace, I completely forgot about the walls.

“Incredible.” I admitted. I felt Steph grab my hand and we stood there silently looking out at the city for several minutes before going through the terrace door that led to the small office.

“It’s an okay size. It will work for what I would need.” I said.

We inspected the downstairs bathroom and then made our way upstairs where we noticed an alcove off to the side.

 

“Could possibly be a little reading area. . .” Steph suggested.

We saw two of the bedrooms and the bathroom they shared and then made our way into the master and we were once again floored by the views. 

We stepped out on the balcony that was off the master and again stood in silence as we admired the view. We eventually made our way back in and walked through a closet area into a massive bathroom.

We took one last look out the windows before heading back downstairs.

“So what do you think?”

I looked at Steph and she had just enough of a smile that let me know that she liked it. “I think we both like it.” I said “I don’t think you ever mentioned the asking price. . .”

He nodded. “It will be listed tomorrow at three point seven five million.” I looked at Steph and her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. “But, there’s not much that you’d need to do, maybe paint some walls, you could take down the walls down here to open up the space. . .that’s about it. And the views. . .I will tell you this, the seller wants to sell quickly, that’s why the price is lower than it might normally be. If it goes on the market, it’s going to go fast.”

I knew he was right. “Do you mind if we step out on the terrace to talk for a moment?” I asked Roger.

“Not at all.”

I held the door open for Steph as she walked through the door and followed behind her. We both walked to the railing and looked out at the view.

“You like it, don’t you?” I asked her.

“I do; but it’s a lot of money.”

“He’s right though, it doesn’t need a lot of work and it wouldn’t cost much to knock those walls down. Besides that, it just needs to be polished up a little.”

“What do you want to do?” She asked.

“Well, if it goes on the market it will go quickly. If we’re interested in getting it, I think we need to put in an offer now and give them what their asking for it. If they don’t accept it, we can walk away and find something else. But do you like it enough to do that?”

She looked out at the view. “The other ones just didn’t feel right. Everything about this one. . .fits. I can’t explain it, it’s like the second we walked in the doors, it felt right.”

I put my arm around her waist and looked out at the buildings. “I feel the same way.” She looked up at me and smiled. “So. . .”

“I think we need to talk to Roger.” She suggested.

The next morning we found out the seller had accepted our offer and a week later we were signing the papers. The next several weeks were a blur. 

The most unpleasant thing about the move was referring my patients to other doctors and letting Mrs. Greene know that I was closing the practice. She was more than understanding and was thankfully able to get a job at one of the other practices, but there were several days that even though I knew that I was doing the right thing, it was still difficult. What made it worse was that I had to talk to Steph about it over the phone when all I wanted was to be with her.
 

 

  

I was shocked when the office building had sold within the first two weeks of being listed. The buyer was going to turn it into an antique store and didn’t waste any time starting the renovations.

Our own mini renovations started at the city apartment a week after we signed the papers. We hired a contractor that Ethan suggested and soon the first floor was opened up. 

We also hired a decorator and when Steph wasn’t working, she was meeting with them to pick out materials and furnishings. On the days that I wasn’t in the city, I would get text messages and pictures throughout the day from Steph asking questions and wanting my opinion on things.

As the renovations came to an end, I hoped that my job hunting would go as smoothly. I had done more research into possible jobs in the city and had become convinced that my friend Sam had been right; working for a hospital would be one way in which I could help people who were grieving. I sent resumes to several hospitals, one of which was the one that Sam worked at, and was surprised at the quick request for an interview from that hospital. The day after I stopped seeing patients in Appaloosa, I was driving into Bridgeport for my interview. The only other interviews I had done were for entrance into schools, never for a job. As I waited for the director to see me, I was more than a little nervous.

“Dr. Davila?” A middle aged man asked as he approached me.

I stood up at the sound of my name. “I’m one of the directors here, Dr. Stewart.” He stuck his hand out for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you. Please, call me George.”

He nodded. “Why don’t we step into my office?” I followed him into a decent size office that overlooked the city. He motioned to one of the chairs and I sat down across from him, thinking that this might have been how some of my past patients felt sitting across from me in my old office. “So Sam Powers has been talking you up quite a bit. He’s convinced that you’re the guy we need for this job.”

“Well, that’s nice of Sam.” I said a little embarrassed.
 

“Sam’s told me a little bit about you, but why don’t you enlighten me. You’re from Appaloosa, right?”

I nodded. “I was born there and lived in the same house until I went to college. It’s a great little town. My Mom’s whole family lives there and I grew up in a pretty big family.”

“And you went to ASU?”

“Yes, I did undergrad and grad studies there and then continued with doctorate at University of Appaloosa.”

“What brings you to Bridgeport, then?”

“I have family here too and in the last seven months I’ve been driving back and forth between the two. As much as I enjoy Appaloosa, I feel it’s time to move on.”

He nodded and flipped through some papers. “It says here that when you received your doctorate, you returned to your home town and opened up your own practice. . .tell me about that.”

“At the time that was the best fit for me. I felt like I needed to be there for my family and I was able to open my own practice while I’ve been there. I was more of a general counseling psychologist, helping patients with various challenges.”

“Is that something you’re interested in, staying in general counseling?”

“Not really. I did enjoy it, but I’ve always wanted to specialize more in grief counseling.”

“Why?”

I paused before I continued, unsure if my reasoning would be considered a hindrance. “I’ve always wanted to help people but it wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I started to really want to be a psychologist. My Dad was killed by a drunk driver in a car accident. I watched as my family tried to deal with the grief, something we still deal with today, and as we went through grief counseling I realized that I wanted to give people what I had received. That if there was any way that I could help another person or family realize that even though there’s still pain that lingers with the loss of a loved one, it gets better and it’s possible to accept it.”

He nodded. “So do you think that your personal experience helps you better relate to patients? That it can help you counsel them?”

I was stunned. I hadn’t expected him to ask that and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I figured that the best I could do was tell the truth. “Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don’t. I definitely think that it helps me relate to them, since I’ve been, am going through it. But that’s the thing about grief, you eventually come to accept it, but you still feel the loss; it’s not just about accepting that their not here anymore, it’s learning to also accept the pain that you feel from them not being here anymore. It never fully goes away, but you have to learn to accept that. And I often wonder if the fact that I’m still grieving is a benefit to my patients or a hindrance.”

He once again nodded. “Do you think it has been a hindrance to you helping your past patients?”

“No, no I don’t.”

“So it’s not a fear from something that’s happened, just that it might.”

“Yes.”

“Why don’t I tell you a little more about the job.” He paused as he leaned back in his chair. “As you can imagine, we have many individuals and families that come through our hospital that unfortunately lose loved ones. About fifteen years ago, the hospital realized that we were doing an in-service to them by not offering some kind of grief counseling. Originally, the hospital decided that needed to change and there was only two psychologists hired on a part-time basis for counseling. It didn’t take long for the hospital to realize that more help was needed and they not only hired the two existing psychologists on full-time, they also hired a third psychologist. The three of us have remained here since then but two months ago, the third psychologist relocated and we’ve had an opening since.”

“We not only help with the grief process that occurs after a loss, but also with the transitioning to that loss; dealing with a diagnosis of a lifelong or terminal disease, amputation and the grief that is felt from losing a limb. . .And as you know, most psychologists don’t specialize in that or even necessarily want to be “limited” to that.” I nodded. “Takes a special kind of doctor to help people in that capacity.” He looked at me for a brief moment before continuing. “Do you have any questions for me?”

“How many patients do you see?”

“Well, we split them between the three of us, so each of us sees between 20-25 patients once a week, but we’re also on call for the hospital when the need arises.”

“That’s quite a few.” I admitted. I had only seen between 10 and 15 in Appaloosa and only two of them had been for grief counseling. “I didn’t have the opportunity to counsel that many people in Appaloosa. I would have liked to help more but with it being a small town. . .”

He nodded. “I suppose that’s one benefit of practicing in the city. Any other questions?”

“No, not at this time.” I admitted.

He stood up and I followed. “Well if you think of any, please feel free to contact us.”

“Thank you.”

He stuck out his hand and I shook it. “It was nice to meet you, George.”

“You too, Dr. Stewart.”

“Call me Ron. We’ll be in touch.”

I walked out of the office and as soon as I was outside the hospital, I let out a big sigh. I hadn’t been that nervous in a long time and I had hoped it wasn’t obvious during the interview. It didn’t take me long to get to Steph’s and I was barely in the door before she was bombarding me with questions. 

“How did it go? We’re you nervous? Do you think you’d like it? When do you think they’ll let you know?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her excitement. “It went okay. Yes, I was nervous. It’s basically what I’ve wanted to do since I started studying to be a psychologist. I have no idea if or when they’ll tell me anything.”

She smirked at me. “Is that all you’re going to tell me? Surely there’s more. . .don’t make me tickle you. . .”

I laughed. “They basically help people deal with loss, whether that’s life, limb, dealing with a life changing illness. . .It’s what I’ve wanted to do since after Dad passed away. The one doctor that I interviewed with is nice; he and the other doctor are about mid to late forties. It would be nice to work with others and have someone to collaborate with.”

“So if they offered you the job. . .?”

“I’d take it. But I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

She shook her head. “Then I’ll get them up for both of us.”

I smiled as I pulled her closer. “I love you.”

She kissed me gently and then looked into my eyes. “I love you too.”

As we stood there in each other's arms I smiled thinking about how right Mom had been; my heart was most certainly here and this was definitely home now.