George - Chapter Thirteen: Jekyll Turning Into Hyde

 A little warning for language and very picture heavy chapter.

*****

I looked at the clock and watched as the second hand ticked slowly around its repetitive circle. I had seen my last patient of the day but had stayed late to try to catch up on some work and reading that I had gotten behind on from Grandma’s funeral. I had to cancel my patients for a total of three days and I was trying my best to make up the time, but no matter how much I tried to concentrate on my work, it just wasn’t happening.  I had been reading the same sentence for five minutes and decided that enough was enough. I closed the file and placed it in my bag that I was taking home, hoping that I would be able to concentrate on it better later.

I heard my phone chime and rushed over to check it. It had been four days since Steph and Ethan had returned to Bridgeport and every day since she had texted me on her first break from serving at the club.  I clumsily picked up the phone, almost dropping it, and selected the message.

Are you available to talk? This had been the start of our routine for the last four days. She would text, see if I was able to talk and I would call her. I kept telling her it was okay to just call instead of text but she kept insisting that she didn’t want to interrupt me if I was busy. I selected the phone icon and after a few seconds, I heard ringing.

“I guess you are.” I heard her say when she answered her phone.

“You know, you could have called. . .” I jokingly hinted.

“I know, but what if you were with a patient.”

“Steph, I’m never with a patient this late, ever. So it’s okay to call.” I smiled thinking about how this was the exact conversation we’d had since I had returned to work. “Someday maybe you’ll believe me. . .” I joked.

“Maybe, or maybe I’ll just keep on doing it since I know it bothers you.” She joked back.

“You’re as stubborn as I am.” I said and laughed. “How’s your day been?”

“It’s been okay, the usual, got home around 2:30 in the morning, woke up around nine, ran, tried to pass the time, then came to work. Real exciting stuff. Umm. . .speaking of exciting, have you talked to Charlotte today?”

I straightened my back at her mentioning Charlotte. “No, why? Is she okay? Something happen with her and Ethan?” My mind started racing trying to think of all the possibilities. Had Ethan and her broken up? Surely they hadn’t gotten engaged. . .what if she was pregnant?

“She’s fine. . .”

“But. . .” I said, hoping to encourage her to continue.

She was silent for a moment and I couldn’t help but wish that she would just tell me what it was. The suspense was killing me and I couldn’t help but worry more from her silence. “It’s Trev. He’s come to the club every night since he and Charlotte came back. Which isn’t odd, but his behavior is. . . Ethan almost kicked him out last night.”

“What did he do?”

“Maybe I should just let Charlotte tell you. I don’t want her to get upset that I told you. . .”

“Steph, please, just tell me.” I begged her. There was no way I was going to wait till Charlotte called to tell me. Either Steph was going to tell me that moment or I was going to hang up and call Charlotte myself.

I heard her sigh but she continued. “He’s been drinking from the second he comes into the club until the moment he leaves. I know it’s a bar and other people do it but his behavior is. . .well, he’s hit on more than one of the servers, tried to grope one of them, and when Ethan tried to talk to him about it Trev went ballistic. He almost punched Ethan. Charlotte finally convinced him to leave but if he had been anyone else, Ethan would have thrown him out. He even yelled at Charlotte and also me at one point. That’s just not normal for him. We’re all worried about him.”

I took a big breath in and then loudly exhaled. I had worried that this would happen but had hoped that Grandma’s death would do the opposite. It seemed though that my hope had been misplaced. I was at a complete loss about what to do. I knew that if anyone pushed him about it he would blow up and probably just drink even more.

“George?”

I rubbed my forehead. “I’m just. . .trying to figure out what to do; if there’s anything anyone can do.”

“Charlotte mentioned an intervention?” Steph said but even I could tell that she didn’t think it was the greatest idea.

“I’ve told both her and Mom that I really don’t think that will work with Trev. I think all that will do is push him further down the hole.”

“Then is there anything we can do?”

Before I could suggest anything, I needed to see him and see what condition he was in. I needed some time to think about it and if I went there, stayed with him and watched him, it could give me the time I needed to think.

“I know I told you that I wasn’t going to come there this weekend, but I don’t think there’s much of a choice. I have one patient tomorrow and then I’ll head there. That will give me tomorrow and Saturday to see how he is for myself. Right now, I’m going to head to the ranch. Mom’s there for dinner and even though I know that she’s going to suggest an intervention, like Charlotte, I’ll try to talk her out of it till I can see Trev for myself. Can you ask Charlotte to call me when she has her next break? I can’t believe she hasn’t called me yet. . .”

“I’m surprised too. She was really upset last night though, so maybe she was waiting till she calmed down.”

“Could be.” I paused for a moment thinking about how someone should apologize for what Trev had done. “I’m, sorry about Trev; about how he’s been acting.” 

There was once again a silence from her end and I wondered what she was thinking. “George, you don’t have to apologize for him. He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions.”

“I know, I just feel like someone should since he obviously isn’t going to.”

“Hmm. . .” There was an uncomfortable silence and I wondered why. “Well, I should get back inside.”

“Are you out in the alley?” I smiled as I asked  her.

“Yeah, and I keep waiting for this really good looking blonde guy to walk around the corner. . .don’t suppose you could make that happen?”

I laughed and was glad that whatever her silence had been about seemed to be forgotten, at least for the time being. “That could be a possibility tomorrow night.”

“I look forward to it.” She said and for a moment I let my mind wander and think about what I would do to her if I had been there that very moment. She’d be wearing her uniform which meant I could admire her long, toned legs and the tight fit of the skirt and top would be hugging her curves in all the right places. . . 

“George!” Her yelling my name snapped me back to reality.

“Huh?”

“Where’d you go? I was saying bye and there was only silence.”

“Oh, umm. . .I was thinking about something.” I was pretty sure she wouldn’t have had a negative response if I had told her what I was thinking of, but I needed to go to the ranch. 

“Well, now that you’ve come back to reality, I go on my next break around midnight. I can call you, or you can call me. . .”

“I’ll call you.”

“Okay. Good luck talking to your Mom and Charlotte.”

“Thanks, I’m going to need it. I’ll talk to you later.”

We hung up and I packed up the remainder of the things I wanted to take home. As I walked out to my car I looked around at the quiet street. It was only eight o’clock but there was hardly anyone around. It was a rare thing to see many people out this time of night in Appaloosa, as opposed to the city where the nightlife was just starting to come to life. I put my bag down in the passenger seat and slid into the driver’s seat. It took all of five minutes to drive from my office to the ranch gate and I punched in the gate code to let myself in. As I got out of my car, I thought about the last time I had been there. It had been after Grandma’s will had been read; the whole family had gathered back at the ranch. It had only been four days, but it felt more like a month had passed. I walked up the stairs and opened the front door.  

“Hello?” I called out and I heard scurrying from the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?” Mom asked as she walked into the hallway and hugged me.

“Can’t I just stop in to say hi?” 

She skeptically looked at me. “Yes, but I can tell that’s not why you’re here.” 

I nodded and was about to suggest we go into the living room when Uncle Charlie came down the stairs.

“G! What are you doing here?” I smiled at hearing Uncle Charlie call me ‘G.’ Besides Dad, he was the only one who had ever called me that. 

“Actually, I came to talk to Mom.” I said to him after we hugged. 


“Maybe we should all go into the living room.” I motioned that direction and we sat down on the couches.

“What is it, George?” Mom asked and I wasn’t surprised by the concerned expression she had.

“It’s Trev. I was talking with Steph a little while ago and she mentioned that his drinking seems to have gotten worse and Ethan almost kicked him out of his club last night.” 

She jumped up. “I just knew he wouldn’t get better! What are we going to do? Surely we should do an intervention now. . .”

“Mom.” I calmly addressed her and she looked at me. “Calm down. We need to talk about this rationally.” I motioned for her to sit back down and she complied but didn’t look too happy. “This is Trev were talking about. You know, larger than life, happy go lucky guy, that is until he feels pressured and then he tends to blow up and do the complete opposite of what someone suggests. . .” She sighed and I knew that I had at least calmed her down enough to where she could talk reasonably about it.

“But again, I ask, are we supposed to just sit back and watch him do this to himself? By not expressing that we think he’s hurting himself, and possibly others, aren’t we basically turning our heads and looking the other way?”

“No, because we do care, and we are keeping an eye on him. I know that it seems that sitting him down and talking to him about it would be a good thing, but I’m telling you, Mom, that I don’t think it’s going to do him any good.”

“Then what? What do we do? What would you as a psychologist suggest we do.” 

I heard my phone ring and I saw that it was Charlotte calling. I answered it and put her on speaker. “Hey Charlotte, I’m here at the ranch talking to Mom and Uncle Charlie. I’ve put you on speaker.”

“Oh my God, George! He was completely out of control last night! I can’t believe Ethan didn’t kick him out! Did Steph tell you that he even tried to hit on her?!”

I was shocked. It wasn’t as if Trev didn’t know that Steph and I were together now. Hell, he and Charlotte had been pushing it ever since I met her. I started to feel myself getting angry. 

“No, no she didn’t.” I said through clenched teeth.

“See, he’s lost it!! He’s not himself.” I heard her say the last part and it helped to remind me that he wasn’t himself and that there was no way that Trev would have done that normally.

“No, you’re right, he’s not himself; it’s the effect of the alcohol.”

“He needs help; we need to stop him.” It was moments like this that I realized just how much Mom and Charlotte were alike. Many times they had the same reactions to things and it had been one of the major reasons that they had fought so much when we were growing up, the fact that they were so much alike.

“I was just talking to Mom and Uncle Charlie about that. Honestly, it won’t work with Trev. Look at how pissed he got when you tried to talk to him when you all were here a couple of days ago. Can you imagine what his reaction would be if we all ganged up on him. He’d go ballistic. Then he’d stop talking to us and probably shut himself up in his apartment drinking even more. No, I already told Steph that I’m going to drive there tomorrow. I don’t know what to do but I’m hoping that after I see him, I’ll have a better idea. It may be that we just have to keep an eye on him and wait till he hits bottom. Sometimes that’s what it takes before they realize that they need help; and until he realizes that he needs help, nothing is going to work. He could go to rehab, just like he’s done before, and it won’t last; and it won’t until he realizes himself that he has a problem.”

I looked at Mom. “That’s what I would suggest to someone who came to me to ask my professional opinion. But I do want to see him first, just to see how bad it’s gotten.”
 

“Well, it’s gotten bad.” Charlotte huffed.

“Do you mind if I come with you?” I heard Uncle Charlie ask and I couldn’t help but show my surprise. “I need to take Scarlett some things that Mom left her that she wasn’t able to take with her. I’d need to take the truck, but I’ll drive.”

I wasn’t sure why Uncle Charlie wanted to tag along but I couldn’t see why he couldn’t. “Sure, if you want to; and I will take you up on the driving.” He smiled at me and nodded.

“I wish I could come.” Mom said.

“It’s fine Mom. You go stay with Will and Emily.” Mom was leaving the next day to go stay with them till after the baby was born.

“So you’re both coming here tomorrow? When will you be getting here and where are you going?”

“I guess we’ll be there between three and four. About the time that you and Steph will be going into work. I’ll text Trev in a bit and tell him Uncle Charlie and I are coming into the city tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll ask us to stay with him so we’ll go there first.”

“Sounds like a plan. See you both tomorrow.”

I hung up with Charlotte and Uncle Charlie and I made plans for the next day after I texted Trev. I spent a little more time at the ranch trying to convince Mom that everything was going to be okay, even though I wasn’t sure myself that it was, and talking with Uncle Charlie and Grandpa, who eventually made his way downstairs. I eventually made my way to my house and made my way up to my office to look over the patient file I had been trying to read at the office. I was able to concentrate on it better, but my mind still drifted every once in a while to Trev. Part of me knew that an intervention wasn’t the way to help Trev, the psychologist in me knew that. But then there was the brother side of me that felt the same things that Mom, Charlotte, and everyone else did. The heartbreaking feeling of watching Trev spiral down further and further; the feelings that made me want to just say ‘screw it’ and shake him until I could knock some sense into him. Then the psychologist in me would remind myself that doing that wouldn’t work. 

I eventually got through the file and carried it downstairs to put back in my bag. I decided to make myself a cup of decaf tea and headed to the bedroom. I had thirty minutes before I was supposed to call Steph back and I decided to change for bed. I sat down in a chair and read a book while sipping my tea.

“OW! Shit!” I screamed as I was awakened by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I had fallen asleep while still holding my cup of tea and the hot beverage spilled on me when I had startled awake. I stood up and placed the mug on the side table and grabbed my phone.

“Hi.” I said while wincing in pain. I had seen it was Steph and I looked at the clock noticing that it was a little past midnight.

“Hi, are you okay? You sound like you’re in pain.”

“Yeah, I made some tea to drink while I read a book, I fell asleep and when my phone rang I woke up and the hot tea spilled on me.” I explained to her as I wiped the tea off of me with a towel.

“Ooo! Yeah, I bet that hurt. . .” There was several seconds of silence before she continued. “Will it wash out?”

“I didn’t spill it on any clothes. I had gotten ready for bed.”

There was another pause. “So you aren’t wearing a shirt. . .?”

I smiled and chuckled. “No, no I’m not.”

“So can the really good looking blonde guy walk around the corner into the ally tomorrow night not wearing a shirt. . .?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I don’t know about that. Might be a good way to get arrested. . .or give some people the wrong impression.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you might end up having women hit on you. . . Maybe some other time.” she said a little more breathlessly and I once again started to imagine being there, her wearing that uniform. . . She would put her hands on my chest and I would place a hand on one of her legs. . .

“Did your talk go okay with you Mom?” I was once again snapped back to reality. “Charlotte said that your Uncle Charlie is coming with you?”

“Yeah, he has some things that Grandma left Aunt Scarlett so he’s coming with. He offered to drive too and I wasn’t about to turn that down.”

“So I guess I’ll see tomorrow night then.”

“Yup, See you tomorrow.”

“Night.” She said and we hung up. I put the towel in the hamper and then took my cup into the kitchen. I returned  back to the bedroom and I laid on my bed so I could fall asleep and finish my daydream about seeing Steph in her uniform. . .

I heard a knock on my office door and Uncle Charlie walked in. “You about ready?” We had talked the night before about leaving around ten in the morning to head to Bridgeport. I looked up at the clock and noticed that he was right on time, like he usually was.

“Yeah, I’m about ready.” I looked out into the entrance area. “Mrs. Greene?” I watched as she came walking into my office.

“Yes?”

“Would you mind filing this and locking up?” I held out the patient file and she walked over to take it.

“Not at all.” She took the folder and turned to Uncle Charlie. “I’ve never gotten to thank you. My son bought our granddaughter a horse from your ranch for her last birthday and it is by far the best trained horse we’ve ever had.”

“That’s nice of you to say. I appreciate it. I’m glad you’re satisfied with the horse.”

“Oh we are! And we tell anyone we know who’s looking to buy a horse to get one from your ranch.”

“Thank you! We work hard to keep it at the standard that Dad set.”

We said goodbye to Mrs. Greene and walked out to his truck. “I bet you hear that a lot from people around here.”

“I hear it from time to time. It’s always nice to hear but more than anything, it lets me know that the legacy that Dad has laid out for our family is still continuing on and that’s always been my main goal, to make him proud and pass it on to my children.”

I nodded and he smacked the side of my arm. “How ‘bout we get going?” We got in the truck and made our way to Bridgeport. On the way we talked about my practice, Mom living on her own; which Uncle Charlie had been trying to convince Mom to move into the ranch for years, and we even talked about Dad a little.

When we arrived into the city, I navigated him to Trev’s  building and soon we were riding the elevator up to Trev’s apartment. We exited the elevator when it reached his floor and I wondered where Trev was, he always greeted people at the elevator.

“Trev?” I called out and I heard a noise from the living room.

“George? Are you here already?” He said with a drunken slur. He got up off of one of the couches and came up to hug Uncle Charlie and me. I could smell the alcohol permeating off of him before he made it over to where we were standing. “I must have fallen asleep. . .” He tried to look at me but his eyes were having trouble focusing.

“I guess you did. Where would you like us to put our stuff?” Uncle Charlie asked him.

“Just pick a room. I’m not expecting any company tonight. . .” He smirked and winked. Uncle Charlie and I nodded and quietly made our way to guest rooms. I was getting some clothes out of my bag when Uncle Charlie came into the room I was sleeping in.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” He asked me.
 

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve never seen him this bad.”

“Are we really taking him to the club tonight?”

I knew it sounded crazy but I honestly wanted to see how bad off he was and I figured that if Uncle Charlie and I were there, we’d watch out for him which was better than Trev going out somewhere by himself. “Yeah, I talked to Ethan this morning and he said it was fine, as long as we were with him.”

He nodded and we walked back into the living room. Trev was in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee and taking some headache medicine. “So, what’s the plan?” He asked while still slurring.

“Well, I’m going to go take Aunt Scarlett the things I brought her. You both are more than welcome to come.” Trev shook his head and I decided to stay back with him. “We’re leaving to go to the club around eight, right?”

I nodded and noticed Trev was about to protest. “Yes, I’d like to get there around eight so we’ll leave a little before that.” I said before Trev could say anything.

“Gotcha. I’ll be back here probably around seven.”

We said goodbye and Trev and I made our way into the living room.

“We’re going to the club? Why don’t we go somewhere else? I know a great place. . .”

“No, we’re going to the club. I want to see Steph and Uncle Charlie mentioned wanting to see Charlotte while we were here.”

He looked down at the floor. “I don’t think I’m allowed to go back there.”

“Yes you are, I talked to Ethan.”

He looked at me like a kid who had gotten caught smoking in the school bathroom. “So you know about what happened last night?”

I nodded and thought back to what Charlotte had told me about him hitting on Steph and I had to use every ounce of self-control to not let him have it.

“Which means you know about how I acted toward Steph. . .” He closed his eyes and hung his head and I knew that he regretted it. It still didn’t take away the anger but I felt a little better knowing that he felt bad about it.

“I’m sorry. I drank too much last night. . .I’m sorry.”

He looked at me and I glared back at him. “I think you should be apologizing to Steph, and Ethan for that matter.”

He nodded in agreement. “I know, but I wanted to apologize to you too.”

“You want to me to forgive you? Then tell her you’re sorry.”

“I will.” He admitted and I had to stop looking at him. The truth was, I was beyond pissed off that he had done it, even if he was drunk and it was alcohol induced. It was one indication that he was slipping downward quickly. The sober, normal Trev never would have done that. But we weren’t dealing with that Trev, we were dealing with the drunk, womanizing Trev. It was like watching Jekyll turn into Hyde.  I needed to leave the room before I blew up at him.

“I’m going to take a shower. Maybe take a nap.” I walked out of the room and went to the bedroom. A nap sounded really good since I knew I’d be up late that night. I hoped that I would be able to stay at the club late enough to make sure Steph made it home okay. But who knew what was going to happen with Trev. . .

I woke up around seven and quickly took a shower. As I walked into the living room I heard Uncle Charlie and Trev talking.

“So there we were, your dad and I, on the line with 10 seconds left on the clock. The center snapped the ball, I ran out right trying to confuse the defense, letting them think that I had the ball; your dad runs to the left, no one defending him since they thought I had the ball. The quarterback throws it to him and Carson casually walks into the end zone!”

“Ah, talking old football stories.” I made sure to emphasize the old part.

“Those were some good days.” Uncle Charlie smiled.

“Are we about ready to go?”

“Yup, maybe we should take a cab since the three of us would be crammed in the truck.”

“Sounds good.” Trev said and within several minutes we were piling into a cab, on our way to the club. Trev and Uncle Charlie started to walk to the front door and were confused when I started to veer off. “I’m going in the back way. Promised Steph I’d meet her back there.”

Uncle Charlie smiled and nodded and Trev looked away, once again with a guilty expression. I walked down the sidewalk and stopped just shy of the ally. I carefully peaked around the corner and saw Steph standing there fidgeting with her hair. I smiled and let my gaze travel down her body to her legs but as much as I was enjoying the view, I wanted to kiss her even more. 

I started to walk around the corner and walked several steps before she saw me. She quickly turned her head and then smiled as she walked towards me. Before I could get a word out she kissed me. I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her waist while I kissed her back. She put her arms around my neck and when we stopped she sighed. 

I smiled down at her. “I’m just going to go back there and then walk back into the alley so we can do that again.” I pointed in the direction I had walked from.

“You don’t have to do all of that.” She said and we started kissing again. I moved one of my hands up to her face and stroked her cheek with my thumb. She unwrapped one of her arms from around my neck and placed a hand on my chest. I had a flashback to my daydream the day before and thought about how if I just moved my one hand down a little, I could be touching her thigh. . .I was startled by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Steph and I looked over at the doorway and saw Charlotte standing there. “I. . .uh. . .saw Trev and Uncle Charlie come in. I was wondering what was taking you so long.” She was smiling like a Cheshire cat. I looked back at Steph and she rolled her eyes. 

“I guess we should go inside. . .” Steph said and I walked over to hold the door open for her and Charlotte.  Steph walked in first and I followed closely behind Charlotte.

“You know, we really need to talk about your timing; or lack thereof.” I whispered to her.

“Don’t blame me; you’re the one that was making out in an alley.”

“Really? You see Trev and Uncle Charlie walk in, you know that Steph and I are meeting back there, and you wonder why I’m not walking straight inside? What would you and Ethan be doing?” I saw her blush. “That’s what I thought. So next time, don’t come outside.”

“Okay. Fine.” We walked through the doors and I saw Trev immediately walk over to Steph. I gave them some privacy but kept an eye on what was happening. I noticed that she seemed to be very uncomfortable when he started talking to her but as he continued to talk, she looked less that way. When he was done talking she nodded and attempted a smile. She walked away and started looking around until she saw me.

“Did he apologize?” I asked and she nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me that happened?”

“I was already telling you about the other things he did, I just didn’t want to add any more to it. I know he didn’t mean anything by it.”
 

“But it made you feel uncomfortable. . .”

“Yeah, because it was so out of character for him. Trev has always treated me like I was a younger sister. Pretty much the same way he treats Charlotte. I know it was the alcohol but it still made me feel a little uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, it was; and I have to remind myself of that every time I think of him doing it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I guess I was a little embarrassed too.” I nodded and hugged her.

When we stopped hugging she looked over at the tables. “I guess I should check on my tables. I’ll be by in a bit to check on you.” She smiled up at me and walked away. I walked over to the table that Uncle Charlie and Trev were sitting.

“I’m really sorry, George.” Trev said.

“Let’s just not talk about it anymore, okay?” He nodded and got up. I watched as he walked over to the pool table and started to play pool by himself. Most of the evening I spent watching Trev and talking with Steph, Charlotte, Ethan and Uncle Charlie. Trev was drinking more than I had seen him drink before but he wasn’t acting any different, except around me, Steph and Ethan. I knew I should forgive him but at that moment I wasn’t able to do that.

“Hey, I have a break now. Want to go talk outside?” Steph asked and I got up to follow her. I looked over at Charlotte and gave her a warning look. She nodded and Steph and I walked out to the ally.

“Are you okay?” She asked me after we had gotten outside.

“Yeah, I’m just pissed at Trev. I know I should let it go and move on, but I just can’t do that right now.”

“He’s acting much better tonight than he has since he and Charlotte got back.”

I nodded. “I really haven’t seen much tonight that has me incredibly worried. Although, he probably knows that I’m watching him. . .” I started to smile.

“Why are you smiling?” She asked as she smiled at me.

“It wasn’t that long ago that I was trying to describe the difference between analyzing and forming an opinion to someone. You know, because of how I watch people.”

She chuckled. “Either way, you still look like you’re a tiger looking for your next prey.”

“I hate to interrupt again, but Trev’s starting to go ballistic again, George.” I heard Charlotte say from behind me. I turned around and she looked worried.  I hurriedly walked past her and through the doors that led back into the club. Trev was still over by the pool table with a woman who was clearly not happy with him. As I walked over to them I noticed that others in the bar were watching. 

“Keep your hands away from me!” She demanded as she backed away from him.

“You’ve been all over me the whole night and now you’re going to tell me no?!” Trev said loud enough for the whole bar to hear. I walked closer to them.

“Trev, maybe we should leave. . .” I suggested.

“Like hell we are! And mind your own business! You’re always watching me, judging me!! Always shoving it in people’s faces that you’re Mr. Perfect, Mr. Goody-two-shoes.”

“Trev, that’s enough. We need to leave or you’ll be kicked out.” I said calmly yet forcefully. I was feeling anything but calm though.

“Shut the fuck up, George! I’m tired of you butting into my life, constantly shoving in my face how messed up you think I am!  Stop trying to fix me and everyone else and go back to Appaloosa and live your perfect God damn life!!!” 

The bar was completely quiet now and I noticed several people taking pictures with their cell phones. I was sure that this was going to be all over the news the next day. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and watched as Uncle Charlie walked over to Trev and quietly whispered to him. I couldn’t hear anything he said but I heard Trev say “Fine.” And Trev walked over to the door.

“I’m going to take him back to the apartment.” Uncle Charlie said after he walked up to me. I nodded and then watched as they walked out of the club. Little by little people started to talk again but all I could do was just stand there and think about what Trev had just said to me.

****Steph****

We all watched as Trev and his Uncle Charlie left and then I looked back over at George. He still had his back turned toward me so I wasn’t able to see his face, but even without seeing it, I knew what Trev said  had to have hurt. I glanced over at Charlotte and she nodded. We both walked over to him and I noticed that he was staring across the room.

“George, he didn’t mean it.” Charlotte said.

He nodded but kept staring ahead, no expression on his face, nothing giving away how he felt.  “I’m fine.” Was all he said. Charlotte nodded and walked away. I was completely confused; he obviously wasn’t fine but she left him anyway. Should I do the same? She obviously knows him better, maybe that’s a code for “leave me alone right now.”

 I was once again in a position of wanting to comfort him, but I had no idea how to go about doing it. I hadn’t really felt like I had done that during their grandmother’s funeral.  There was a period where he had shut himself off and then, just like his Mom had said he would, he suddenly had opened back up. One thing that I had noticed throughout the several days I was in Appaloosa was that sometimes when he felt the worst, he would grab my hand and hold it. He wouldn’t say anything, but we would just stand or sit holding hands. Maybe that helps him? Maybe not talking about it but just knowing that someone’s there. . .?

I figured it was worth a shot. If he didn’t want that he would let me know and I would know better next time. I reached down and placed my hand in his. I was somewhat startled when he immediately squeezed my hand. We stood there for several minutes like that; holding hands, not saying anything, and eventually he started to rub his thumb against mine. I looked over at Charlotte and she motioned to me that she’d watch my tables. I turned my attention back to George and we continued to stand there, holding hands. It seemed like it was forever before he turned to look at me.

“Thanks.” He said. 

I nodded and smiled sadly at him. I was really curious what had been going on in his head the last several minutes, but knew there would be a better time and place to ask him. We walked back over to the bar, still holding hands.

“I’m sorry about that, Ethan.” He said to him.

“I appreciate that but you’re the one someone should be apologizing to.”

I noticed that for a split second that George clenched his jaw and watched as it caused the sides of his cheeks to bulge out for a moment. “Do you still think an intervention isn’t a good idea?” Charlotte asked him.

“I’m more convinced of that now. And if there ever came a time that the family ever did one, I don’t think I should be part of it. He wouldn’t listen to anything as long as I’m there.  But no, an intervention would be a horrible idea right now. He’s nowhere close to admitting he has a problem.”

“What’s it going to take?” Charlotte asked.

“I don’t know, but he’s probably going to have to hit rock bottom before he gets there.”

 ****Charlie****

“What the hell is his problem?!” Trev complained as we walked into his apartment. I had spent the whole cab ride trying to calm him down.

“Whoa, Trev. You’re the one who yelled at him.” I tried reasoning with him.

“That’s because he’s always acting like he’s better than the rest of us! He’s got his perfect life, perfect career, he never blows up or says the wrong thing. . .It’s fucking annoying!”

“The last time I looked Trev, a lot of people would say that about your life. You’re a professional football player, don’t have to worry about affording anything, for the most part, you have a low stress life.” I was sure he was going to blow up again and waited for him to explode. I had wanted to come into the city to give Scarlett the things that Mom had left her, but I also wanted to be there in case something like this happened. Trev and George had always been complete opposites and growing up they would butt heads. Whenever George had tried to suggest something to Trev, he would blow up and vice versa. They were both very opinionated men, and a lot of time their opinions didn’t mesh. I figured that if Trev was as bad off as everyone was saying, the last person he’d want to listen to is George. I had hoped that he would talk to me though.

“It’s not as stress free as most people would think! Sure I make good money but I have a huge amount of pressure to win games because if I don’t, I could be traded or worse, I could be tossed aside and then what would I do? I have to deal with paparazzi, crazy fans; some who threaten me when we lose games. . .my life isn’t as damn rosy looking as it appears from the outside!”

I nodded.  One thing that I had learned long ago was that if someone wanted to reason with Trevor, they had to go a round about way. I had watched Carson do it many times and sometimes when we would talk about the kids he would tell me how he had to use completely different tactics with Trev. That you couldn’t hit Trev in the face with something; you had to find a way to sneak it in, fake him out. “I could see that. . .Some people might think that ranching’s easy. You know, you get two horses together, they have a baby, you raise it, put a saddle and a person on it and BOOM! You have a horse that anyone can ride.”

“Exactly! You’re life isn’t as easy as people probably think!” He admitted and I knew that I could sneak in what I was trying to help him realize. 

“Hmm. . .you know, now that I think about it, I wonder if that happens to George too. . .” Trev rolled his eyes. “No, I mean, I’m just thinking out loud here, but isn’t it his job to sit and listen to everyone bitch about their problems? How fun can that be? And then we do live in a small town, what happens when he runs into a patient, I don’t know like at the grocery store? Do they try to get in a free session? It must really limit his ability to have friends there since it is such a small town and he’s bound to hear something about quite a few people who live there. . .”

“Yeah, but he’s always wanted to be in other people’s business. Always sticking his nose where it’s not wanted, trying to fix everyone. So it can’t be that stressful for him.”

I was glad that he at least wasn’t yelling anymore. “But don’t you like football?”

“Well, yeah.”

“But you just said that your career is stressful, yet you enjoy doing it. . .I know that’s the case with me too. I get stressed out with ranch business sometimes, but it’s still something I enjoy doing. Maybe George is the same?”

“Maybe, but he still tries to fix everyone and it’s annoying. Whenever he comes here he watches me. I know he’s waiting for me to do something wrong so he can throw it in my face. But I don’t give him the chance, I try to distract him before he can do it.”

“With what?” 

“Sometimes I say something that I know will throw him off. Before he and Steph got together all I had to do was mention her name or the fact that she was interested in him and he’d get flustered.” His smile quickly changed and he looked more pained.

“He’ll get over it, Trev. Give him time.”

“I swear I didn’t mean anything by it! I’ve always thought of Steph as a good friend, maybe more like a sister. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

I had been waiting for an opportunity to work Carson into the conversation and I finally saw my chance. There was one specific thing that I hoped if I mentioned it to him; it would get the wheels turning in his head; something from the funeral. “You know, you made a mistake. We all do. Your dad even made some, he made a pretty big one that almost caused him to lose your mom; and then I would have had to kick his ass, which I almost did.”

“What do you mean?”

“Did he never tell you about how he got sidetracked by a girl in high school?”

****Trev****

I thought that I vaguely remembered him mentioning something about it but couldn’t remember when I’d heard that. “It sounds somewhat familiar. . .”

“When we were seniors, there was a girl who had wanted to date your dad. There was a bunch of stuff that happened during the summer and as much as Carson wanted to date your mom, she just didn’t want to deal with that at that moment. This girl swooped in, distracted your dad for almost the whole year, she treated Bridge like shit; I mean she was a bitch, and Carson was so distracted that he didn’t notice. When he finally broke up with her, he came crawling back to your mom and begged for forgiveness. Not one of his proudest moments. So you see, even Carson made some stupid mistakes. No one’s perfect, Trev; not even your dad.”

A picture popped into my head of talking to dad on the beach when we went on our last family vacation. That’s where I had heard him mention what Uncle Charlie had just told me. I quickly tried to forget it though. I hated thinking about that vacation.

“Anyway, just give George some time, he’ll get over it eventually.”

“If Dad were here he’d tell George to butt out.” I thought out loud.

“Maybe, but Carson was always a big believer in being true to who you are. But you know that already, you talked about it at his funeral.”

I had no idea what he was talking about. I had spoken at Dad’s funeral but didn’t remember saying anything about that. “Huh?”

“You know, you talked about how a lot of time Carson’s talks with you kids was about staying true to yourself? Let me see I think it was something like that the theme in the talks you had was to be true to yourself.”

I had a flashback to Dad’s funeral and me standing at the podium. 

“. . .What was always the underlying theme in all the talks we had was to be true to yourself. Be who you are no matter what anyone else thinks about you, and no matter what life throws at you; if you do that,  you’ll be okay.”

I had completely forgotten what I had said and for some reason remembering it now caused me to almost feel panicked. I swallowed hard. “Oh, yeah, I remember that.” I said and tried to act like I was okay.

“He was right. I would never admit to your dad’s face that he gave great advice, since you know how we loved giving each other a hard time, but even I have to admit that he gave you kids some great advice. Don’t worry about what George thinks, or Charlotte, your mom; hell even I don’t matter. Be true to who you are. If you do that, you shouldn’t have any regrets.”

I stood there staring off to the side all the while trying to stop the memories of Dad from flooding into my mind. I could feel my hands start to shake and I wished more than anything I could have a drink. I knew if I could get a drink, my hands would stop shaking and I could push the memories out of my head.

“Well, this old man is tired. I don’t stay up this late usually since I wake up before the sun comes up. I guess I’ll head to bed. Night Trev.”

“Night.” I didn’t look over at him though when I said it. I just kept staring off to the side until the realization hit me that I was alone. I could get a drink! I ran over to where I stored the liquor and grabbed the bottle of scotch. I ran up the stairs and sat down in one of the chairs as I opened the bottle. 

For a long while I sat there staring out the window looking at the city, trying to drink away the memories of Dad that tried to haunt me. As long as I could forget, everything would be alright. I had drunk halfway down the bottle and even though my hands weren’t shaking anymore, I still had pictures popping into my head from our family vacation and Dad’s funeral. I didn’t care if it took the whole bottle, I was going to drink until I couldn’t remember anymore.