Bridgette - Chapter Seven: It Was Only Then That I Won - Part Two

We all looked down, feeling uncomfortable. “Is there anyway. . .” There was a long pause “. . .that I can talk to Bridge alone.” I looked up at him, shocked. My shock was soon replaced with an overwhelming urge to scream at him and tell him to leave.

“What do you want to do Bridge? It’s up to you, we’ll all stay or leave.” Charlie told me then he turned to look at Carson.

I stood there looking at the ground for a minute thinking about what I wanted.  I was torn, part of me didn’t want to hear anything Carson had to say and didn’t care about any excuses he could give me; the other part of me was somewhat curious about what he thought he could possibly say to me to make up for all these months.  I looked up and met Carson’s stare. “Let me hear what he has to say, not that I think it’s going to make a difference.” Carson quickly looked away and everyone else got up to leave.

“We’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” Charlie told me. He walked past Carson and as he did, he whispered something to him that I couldn’t hear. After the last one of them left my room, they closed the door. I decided to walk to the other side of the room. I didn’t want him sitting or standing anywhere near me.

We both stood there for several minutes in silence, I looked out the window and he looked down at the floor. “So what did Charlie just say to you?” I broke the silence but continued to look out the window.

“He said that I had better not upset you anymore or he would be having words with me later.” I nodded and bit down on my lower lip.

“Sounds like something he’d say.”

“Bridge. . .”He started

“Don’t Bridge me. Only my friends can call me Bridge.” I snapped at him. He looked angry and then sad.

“I’m honestly clueless here, Bridge. I don’t know what has happened these last several months that’s caused this rift between us, what I’ve done or haven’t done that’s made you so mad.”

I looked at him and let out a slight chuckle and got a smirk on my face. “You just answered your own question.” He looked at me quizzically. “You’re clueless. You were so blind to who Waverly really was, what she was doing to me, how she was pulling our friendship apart, and how each day I was becoming more distant from you. You were supposed to be my best friend and you dumped me to the side of the road because some girl, some lowlife bitch draped herself all over you! And for a while, that’s what hurt, but then I started losing even more respect for you because as smart as you are, you couldn’t see what was right in front of you. You couldn’t see past her charms and her silver tongue.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? If someone had just told me my eyes would have been opened.”

“Would they, really Carson? Believe me, I would have loved to tell you what an idiot you were but your sweet, innocent girlfriend told me that if I did, she would make sure that you and I were never friends again and that she would also make sure that you weren’t friends with anyone else. That girl made my life a living hell this year and you had no clue. None.  Even the others noticed how she was, to a certain extent; but you, you were completely blind. I just don’t think I can forgive you for that Carson.”

He started to walk towards me and I took a step back and gave him a warning glance. He stopped and looked down at the floor. “Bridge, I. . .I wish I could say something . . .You’re right, I should have noticed. . .I could stand here and explain why I think she was able to deceive me but you’re right, there’s really no excuse for what I did. I’ll leave you alone.” He turned around and headed towards the door. He opened the door and started walking out.

“Wait!” I closed my eyes the second I heard myself say it. He turned around and closed the door again. I looked at him and continued. “If I promise to not get mad at you, will you explain why you think she deceived you?”

“No, Bridge. All that’s going to do is probably make you feel worse and it’s not really going to fix anything.”

“Please Carson. I’d like to try to understand. I’m not sure why but I’d like to try.”

 “You promise you won’t get upset?”

I sighed. “I promise. Plus, I don’t think I could get much madder at you anyway.”

“That’s reassuring.” He smirked and then got serious again. “I’ll go ahead and warn you that this has to do with this past summer.” I nodded to let him know I understood. “After we talked about our relationship this summer, I was upset. I know it seemed like we both agreed that we should just be friends but, in all honesty, I lied. I gave in because I knew that the last thing you needed was to feel pressured into a relationship.” He paused and looked at me. I again nodded to let him know that it was okay to continue. “Soon after we had our discussion, I ran into Waverly.” He flinched when he said her name which gave me a little bit of satisfaction. “She was so understanding and came into my life right at a time when I was feeling pretty low about myself. I mean, from my standpoint, you had made it pretty clear more than once that you didn’t want to date me and here was this girl who seemed genuinely interested in me. At least that’s what I thought at the time.” He looked down and sighed. He pursed his lips and tried to continue but got chocked up.

“I can fill you in on the rest.” I suggested and he nodded. “You’re right; to you she seemed genuinely interested in you. She planned this whole thing. I don’t know for how long but she told me how she had been waiting to get me back and when she saw you this summer she had found a way to get me back. I think she thought that I would be jealous for another reason. That I would wake up and realize that I had feelings for you. In reality, it did the opposite. It pushed you and I so far apart that I finally got so sick of it that I didn’t care what she threatened to do. I’m really sorry that she hurt you Carson but as bad as you’re feeling right now, I’ve had to deal with her manipulation and threats for months.” He nodded and looked up at me.

“As for this summer, I’ve known for a while that you felt pressured into your decision. That’s my fault and I was about to apologize for that before I found Waverly in my room and she threatened me.”

“What?!”

“When we had the pool party at the beginning of the year I had come inside to make sure she hadn’t gotten lost. I expected to find her roaming the halls but instead she was snooping in my room. It was then that she informed me that she had been planning on getting revenge on me since I had been so unkind to her when we were younger; I never quite understood that part since I have no recollection of ever being down right mean to her. Anyway she threatened me that if I tried to tell you about her that she would make sure that you and I were never friends again and that if I even tried to tell the others about her, she would ruin all of our friendships.  I didn’t think much about it but the more I saw of the two of you together it became obvious that you were under her spell. So I decided to bide my time and wait for the right moment to expose her for who she really was; but she did that all by herself.”

“I am the biggest butthole! I can’t believe all of that was going on and I was blind to it.”

“Yeah, you were blind. There’s nothing you can do to take it back. But honestly, now that we’re talking about things, I suppose you could be just as mad at me if you wanted.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well if you think about it, if I hadn’t pressured you into your decision this summer and hadn’t been so selfish, you might not have felt the way you did and when Waverly approached you, you might have told her to kiss off. In any case, I was very selfish and all I cared about was how I felt and I really didn’t give how you felt much thought. You said something to me soon after you and Waverly started dating that was somewhat of a wakeup call. You said, “I always put my feelings aside for you. It’s never about how I feel.” You were right. Ever since I started having an idea that you had feelings for me I was so concerned about what I wanted that I never really gave you a chance to tell me how you felt.”

“So what are you saying Bridge?”

“I guess I’m saying that as far as our friendship goes, we’ve both made mistakes.”

“I guess that’s true.” He nodded in agreement.

“I don’t know if we can get back to where we were before but maybe we can try to be friends again. If I agree to listen to what you have to say and not be so selfish and you agree to not be blinded the next time a girl is interested in you, do you think we might be able to try to be friends again?”

He held out his hand to me and I took it. “I’d like to try.” He said. I smiled at him and he pulled me in for a hug. “I’m so sorry Bridge.”

“I know; me too.” We stood there hugging for a bit before we broke apart. “I guess we should go downstairs and let everyone know that we haven’t killed each other.”

“I guess we should. Do me a favor though, tell Charlie that I didn’t upset you anymore so he won’t have words with me?”

I laughed “I guess I could do that.”