Bridgette - Chapter Two: Why Would I Tell You?

 

There he is! And thank goodness Waverly isn’t with him!  Four whole classes passed before I was able to see Carson without Waverly hanging all over him.  It was eating me alive that he hadn’t told me that they were dating.  I was his best friend! How dare he not tell me!

As I approached him I loudly blurted out “Carson Davila, you’ve got some explaining to do!” I may have said it a little too loudly since most people turned around to look at us.

 

 

“What’s up with you Bridge?” He acted slightly annoyed at me drawing attention to us but I didn’t care.  As far as I was concerned, he was the one causing all the drama dating that annoying girl.

 

 

“Don’t Bridge me. How is it that you’ve had a girlfriend for several weeks but didn’t bother to tell your best friend?  Am I not good enough to share such information with now? I mean what the hell Carson! What the frig? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were ashamed of her. Afraid of what people will say about you dating “The Voice.”

 

 

“Good grief Bridge! Don’t be so dramatic! And for crying out loud, quite down. Half the school’s looking at us.” Carson lowered his voice, hoping that I would follow suit. I knew I had him right where I wanted.

 

 

“Fine; I’ll calm down if you tell me what the blazes is going on in that crazy head of yours.”

 

 

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal Bridge. It’s like we said earlier; we ran into each other near the end of the summer and hung out for a little bit. We went out a couple of times and realized that we had some things in common. So we’re dating.  People do it all the time.”

 

 

“Yeah, but best friends are supposed to tell each other everything and you didn’t tell me. That’s what I’m pissed about.”

 

 

“I didn’t tell you because I wanted to avoid this from happening.”

“What?! What is “this” that you’re talking about. I’m pissed at you for not telling me. You could have avoided that by telling me about the two of you.”

“Really. . . really, Bridge? So you have no problems with her? You’re not acting this way because of any problems you might have with her?” This was when I hated that he knew me so well.

 

 

“Well. . . I’d be lying if I said I was thrilled that you were dating “The Voice”. . .”

 

 

“Bridge, stop calling her that.” He had the most serious look on his face. He had just two months ago referred to her as “The Voice” and now he was telling me to stop.

“Whatever, Carson.  Not too long ago, you yourself called her that so don’t give me any crap about it. I’m just trying to figure out why the sudden change in your view of her that led to dating her, oh yeah, and then to you not telling me about it.”

 

 

“Look, Bridge. It’s like I said, we talked, got to know each other better, and have been on several dates. I’m sorry if you’re upset that I didn’t tell you but I didn’t want things to be awkward between us, especially after what happened earlier this summer.”

At the mention of that summer, I took a step back. Any mention of the summer brought back memories of Mom being in the hospital and the feelings I had when it seemed like we might lose her. I didn’t know if there ever would come a time that I would think back on that summer without automatically being taken back to that hospital and living through those moments again.

“Why are you  bringing up what happened with Mom? You know how hard it is for me to think about that?”

 

 

“That’s not what I’m talking about Bridge. I’m talking about us; what happened between us this summer.”

“What do you mean? We talked about how we felt and we both decided to be just friends.”

He looked at me and I knew that the can of beans had been opened again. I didn’t understand why this was a reoccurring issue with us. We had talked about it and agreed; but now he was telling me that it wasn’t okay.

“Carson, just spill it. I’m sick of dealing with this over and over again. We talk about it, everything seams good, and then months later I find out it isn’t. So just tell me.”

 

“I did what I thought I needed to do for you. I always put my feelings aside for you. It’s never about how I feel; and that’s okay cause that’s what friends do. But now that I finally moved on, you have an issue with who it is or that I didn’t tell you. Why would I tell you, you never want to hear how I’ve felt before, so why would you care about me having feelings for someone else. So yeah, I have a girlfriend and it’s someone you don’t care for. Maybe for once, you should do what friends do and put your feelings aside for me, your best friend.”

 

 

With that he swiftly turned around and stormed down the hall.

I had never seen anything like it. Carson Davila had just told me off. I saw several people look at me and whisper. I decided it was probably better to get away and started walking to my next class. As I walked I tried to make sense of what Carson had said to me.

“I’m talking about us, what happened between us. . .”  Nothing happened between us. That’s what was confusing me. We talked about how we felt and BOTH decided to stay friends.  Nothing about this statement made sense to me.

 

 

“I did what I needed to do for you. . .” That’s because he was the greatest best friend in the world! And I always appreciated him for it.

 

 

“I always put my feelings aside for you. It’s never about how I feel. . .” Did he really think I was such a bad friend?  He really wasn’t thinking about my feelings just then. . .

 

 

“Why would I tell you, you never want to hear how I’ve felt before. . .Maybe for once you should do what friends do and put your feelings aside for me, your best friend.”  Out of everything he said to me, this hurt the most. I knew he was right and I needed to get over how I felt about Waverly but did he really think that I didn’t want to hear how he felt? I just didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me. But I figured the least I could do was apologize and try to get along with Waverly.

 

I went through the rest of the school day in a fog.  At one point my English teacher scolded me for daydreaming. I wish I had been daydreaming! It was more like a nightmare.

 

 

 

 

 

As the minutes on the clock ticked by during my last class, I got more and more anxious to make it out to the parking lot in hopes of catching Carson.  I watched the second hand go ever so slowly around as the last minute of the most horrible first day of senior year went past.  At the sound of the bell, I darted out from my seat and out the door. In no time I was in the parking lot, looking for Carson.

I saw Charlie and Kate walk out and go towards my car. “Come on Bridge! Kate wants me to help her train to try out for the cross country team.  We need to get home.”

 

 

“Just a minute, I need to talk to Carson for a second.” Right as I said it I spotted him walking out the door. I started running towards him when I caught sight of Waverly with him. Oh great, how am I going to do this with her around? As I got closer to them Waverly saw me walking towards them and moved closer to Carson.

 

 

“Hey Carson. . .Waverly.” I was trying with her, but it was still hard to be civil to her. “Carson, can I talk to you for a second.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Sure.”

 

 

I looked back and forth between them “I. . .um. . .kind of meant alone.”

 

 

Waverly gave a smile that was a little too sweet and said “Sure. I’ll meet you at the car Carson.”

 

 

We watched as she walked away and then Carson turned to me. “What do you want Bridgette?” At the sound of him using my full name, I cringed. He never called me Bridgette.

 

 

“I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. You were right, I’ve been thinking only of myself and how I felt about Waverly. I didn’t want to listen to how you felt about her. I’ve been a horrible best friend.”

 

 

He looked at me with an expression I didn’t understand, it was sadness and hopelessness. He gave a heavy sigh “Bridge, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned and walked toward his car.

 

 

I watched him walk away and wasn’t quite sure whether or not things were better between us.  Hopefully he wasn’t still mad at me.

 

 

“Bridge! Let’s go!” Charlie yelled across the parking lot.

 

 

“I’m coming! Keep your pants on!”